Party Rock Anthem only it's played on kazoos

[sacrificialpawn]

[Oscar is a practiced master at Coping (tm) in the face of things he would prefer not to address in any sort of healthy or rational manner. After the events of yesterday, he's somehow getting the feeling that he isn't the only one, which means that in his mind there is only one thing to do: this translates to yet another Walmart booze heist (even larger than the original), a few side trips to amass snacks because RIP his kitchen, and some haphazardly erected decorations in one of the spare rooms to try to at least give off something of a celebratory atmosphere... but let's be real here, this is just Misery x CPR x Reese's Puffs + alcohol.

Sunday morning will find handwritten notes tucked under everyone's doors inviting them to a party that evening, snacks and drinks (that particular word underlined a couple of times, just in case people didn't pick up on the meaning of "party") provided gratis.

There's alcohol, there's soda for the minors, there's plenty of junk food to eat, and there are a whole bunch of other people who are also Going Through It. What better recipe for a party could you ask for?

... don't answer that.]

Comments

[crosswired]

What--? Oh, uh... yes.

A little lost on what you're requesting, actually, as well as where you'd like me to be going if we are splitting up.

[sacrificialpawn]

Uh, well...

[You know, as someone who is drinking buddies with an angel who is over 1,000 years old, he should have anticipated things like this! AND YET...]

... so to start with, how old are you...?

[crosswired]

[He has to actually think about this for more than a second or two, as though he hasn't had to answer this sort of question in a while.

Checking off on his fingers as he thinks...]

Somewhere in the start of my fifth millennium by now.

[hexalding]

[There is a very weird sound across the room, which was probably the machine equivalent of accidentally inhaling half a glass of liquid.]

[crosswired]

[you okay dude]

[holeful]

How long do toa normally live??

[SO OLD....]

No wonder you have so much going on....

[crosswired]

[fukuda hopefully immediately rethinking the whole matoran = child thing in about 5 seconds here ]

I honestly don't know if there is a limit for Toa. My predecessor was already in his position as a Toa when I first came to the city, and I don't know how long he had been there before then. I've only been one for around two years or so, if that.

The rest of my life, I was a Matoran... and I've known plenty in our city that are easily double or triple my age.

[holeful]

[He didn't think Matoran Vakama was a child he was just doing connections!!!]

That sounds exhausting.

[crosswired]

If Raven is correct, and your kind only lives for a century... then I wouldn't blame you for thinking so.

It is just life, for us.

[holeful]

That's a slight overestimate. I think average life expectancy so somewhere around 70-80 years old depending on the country. The record for oldest person is somewhere around 120, but even making it to 100 is relatively uncommon.

[crosswired]

...It seems an unfairly fragile amount of time to me.

[sacrificialpawn]

[YOU KNOW, HONESTLY, it's probably good that Oscar is the one you're revealing this to because he isn't even gonna blink. You're still younger than the oldest angel he knows--]

That so? I'm gonna guess that means you're an adult, so you'd be with the rest of us grown-ups. That answer the question for you?

[crosswired]

Of course. I don't mind deferring to you on that.

[thank you for being normal in amidst the spittakes, oscar]

It answers the first one, at least. Just not the second.

[sacrificialpawn]

... the second?

[He.

may have missed that there was a second question in there.]

[crosswired]

Mm. Whatever a "kiss" is. That's not a word I'm familiar with.

[sorry oscar]

[sacrificialpawn]

[... oh. Uh.]

It's when you... y'know, you an' someone else put your lips together...

[He'll take things he never thought he'd have to try to explain to someone for 600, Alex.

... wait. Does Vakama even have lips under there????]

[crosswired]

...What, with your mouths?

[lmao. good question! :)

He definitely has articulation at the front of his mask similar to a normal mouth, enough that someone could lip read the sounds he makes just like with a human, but everything visible behind his mask when he speaks looks mostly mechanical.]

[reallyfishy]

[Raven nearly spits out his drink.]

You’ve been an old man this whole time?! I figured ya were around my age!

[Maybe 5 thousand years is young for a Matoran/Toa??]

[crosswired]

[WOW HEY HE PROTESTS THAT HE'S NOT THAT OLD :crymeow:]

Wh -- oh, come on, do I look old to you?

[reallyfishy]

Ya don’t! Not that I know what an old Matoran looks like…

[He waves his drink.]

I just…I dunno, five thousand years is a loooong time. I’d be lucky if I made it to a hundred.

[crosswired]

[He snorts a little at that, taking another sip from his own glass.]

You wouldn't. Matoran don't show time's passage physically, unless we've neglected repair. Normally you can single the eldest out by what they remember being around for. The civil war tends to be a highlight, though that's getting so far back that most Matoran would struggle to believe it to be true. Seventy millenia is a long time.

I was wondering if your lifespans were much lower, but... I didn't really know how to ask. Seeing how some of you change across your memories has been very bizarre to me.

[reallyfishy]

Seventy… [DAMN.] Now I really don’t know how ta compare our ages.

Didja end up seein’ some of us as kids? Bet that’d be a wild comparison to us now.

I’m thirty-five, myself. Vergin’ on what we call middle-aged.

[He’s from a JRPG it’s dire.]

[crosswired]

Kids...? Oh, do you mean children?

[He shakes his head.]

I've told More as much, but I don't have a good reference for what counts as a "child" for humans, unless someone points it out. Matoran do not have children.

[guffawsungraciously]

...

Thirty-five is respectably young. You are in your prime.

[saltofthesea]

[ In the background, from the kids' table: ]

You're only considered old in a certain line of business and I bet you'd still have a niche even then!