Party Rock Anthem only it's played on kazoos

[sacrificialpawn]

[Oscar is a practiced master at Coping (tm) in the face of things he would prefer not to address in any sort of healthy or rational manner. After the events of yesterday, he's somehow getting the feeling that he isn't the only one, which means that in his mind there is only one thing to do: this translates to yet another Walmart booze heist (even larger than the original), a few side trips to amass snacks because RIP his kitchen, and some haphazardly erected decorations in one of the spare rooms to try to at least give off something of a celebratory atmosphere... but let's be real here, this is just Misery x CPR x Reese's Puffs + alcohol.

Sunday morning will find handwritten notes tucked under everyone's doors inviting them to a party that evening, snacks and drinks (that particular word underlined a couple of times, just in case people didn't pick up on the meaning of "party") provided gratis.

There's alcohol, there's soda for the minors, there's plenty of junk food to eat, and there are a whole bunch of other people who are also Going Through It. What better recipe for a party could you ask for?

... don't answer that.]

Comments

[crosswired]

[WOW HEY HE PROTESTS THAT HE'S NOT THAT OLD :crymeow:]

Wh -- oh, come on, do I look old to you?

[reallyfishy]

Ya don’t! Not that I know what an old Matoran looks like…

[He waves his drink.]

I just…I dunno, five thousand years is a loooong time. I’d be lucky if I made it to a hundred.

[crosswired]

[He snorts a little at that, taking another sip from his own glass.]

You wouldn't. Matoran don't show time's passage physically, unless we've neglected repair. Normally you can single the eldest out by what they remember being around for. The civil war tends to be a highlight, though that's getting so far back that most Matoran would struggle to believe it to be true. Seventy millenia is a long time.

I was wondering if your lifespans were much lower, but... I didn't really know how to ask. Seeing how some of you change across your memories has been very bizarre to me.

[reallyfishy]

Seventy… [DAMN.] Now I really don’t know how ta compare our ages.

Didja end up seein’ some of us as kids? Bet that’d be a wild comparison to us now.

I’m thirty-five, myself. Vergin’ on what we call middle-aged.

[He’s from a JRPG it’s dire.]

[crosswired]

Kids...? Oh, do you mean children?

[He shakes his head.]

I've told More as much, but I don't have a good reference for what counts as a "child" for humans, unless someone points it out. Matoran do not have children.

[reallyfishy]

Huh! Really? How are Matorans created, then?

[He promises they don’t need to get deep into it, he’s too drunk for that.]

[crosswired]

[Are you ready for a BIG SHRUG because that's what you're getting]

That's within the scope of the Turaga, not us. I certainly know I don't remember anything about being created.

[reallyfishy]

So ya just remember…existin’ all of the sudden?

[crosswired]

Mm. More that... anything beyond a certain point gets very fuzzy. When I first came to my Metru, when I first was assigned a job...

I don't really remember a time where I existed as anything but what I was. All that was different was my lack of experiences.

[reallyfishy]

Huh, that’s pretty interestin’.

[He takes a sip of whiskey.]

But I guess it kinda lines up with how human memories work. S’not like I remember what was goin’ through my head when I was born.

[crosswired]

I have been told your young ones come into this world with very little at all, almost like the young of the beasts. Is that true?

[reallyfishy]

Honestly, we’re probably more useless on our own than baby animals and monsters are. Baby humans are totally dependent on someone ta care for ‘em ‘til they get older, and that takes years.

[crosswired]

I think that's what amazes me the most. Having to rely on another so thoroughly at the beginning of life.

Reading, writing, speaking - that was never anything I had to learn. I just knew it. It was just matters of society, history, profession,... those sorts of things that felt like a blank slate. You learned from your peers and those you apprenticed under.

[guffawsungraciously]

...

Thirty-five is respectably young. You are in your prime.

[reallyfishy]

Aw, that’s real kind of ya ta say, Jasper.

[He doesn’t know Jasper is older than him.]

[guffawsungraciously]

It is entirely truthful.

[GRUMBLE GRUMBLE.]

[saltofthesea]

[ In the background, from the kids' table: ]

You're only considered old in a certain line of business and I bet you'd still have a niche even then!

[reallyfishy]

Huh? What kinda business?

1/2

[saltofthesea]

[saltofthesea]

Probably not something I should say in polite company!

[reallyfishy]

[He can read between the lines.]

Wh— Kid, I ain’t doin’ that! And what are ya doin’ knowin’ about that sorta thing?!

[saltofthesea]

I'm just saying you aren't <>that old!

...Family business, all I'm gonna say.

[reallyfishy]

Welp. That’d do it.

[It isn’t his place to think real hard about how that works for a kid, but he’s definitely not judgmental of the business itself.]

Just wasn’t expectin’ ta learn I’m not too old fer that kinda work. I’ll take it, though.

[saltofthesea]

You'd be getting on the older end, but... [ Shrugs. ] Some people like it, apparently.

[reallyfishy]

The people with mature tastes, as Fukuda put it…

[Why did his brain decide to combine those two observations.]