shardbond | Party Rock Anthem only it's played on kazoos

[Oscar is a practiced master at Coping (tm) in the face of things he would prefer not to address in any sort of healthy or rational manner. After the events of yesterday, he's somehow getting the feeling that he isn't the only one, which means that in his mind there is only one thing to do: this translates to yet another Walmart booze heist (even larger than the original), a few side trips to amass snacks because RIP his kitchen, and some haphazardly erected decorations in one of the spare rooms to try to at least give off something of a celebratory atmosphere... but let's be real here, this is just Misery x CPR x Reese's Puffs + alcohol.

Sunday morning will find handwritten notes tucked under everyone's doors inviting them to a party that evening, snacks and drinks (that particular word underlined a couple of times, just in case people didn't pick up on the meaning of "party") provided gratis.

There's alcohol, there's soda for the minors, there's plenty of junk food to eat, and there are a whole bunch of other people who are also Going Through It. What better recipe for a party could you ask for?

... don't answer that.]

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[this is not helping]

[... yeah, this isn't working. Glancing around the room now, and... you know, it's one thing when you're playing spin the bottle and just have to kiss whoever the bottle points at, and something else entirely when you actually have to pick someone to ask to demonstrate a kiss with for a robot!

He has well and truly played himself on this day.]

Hey, Bas! C'mere for a sec, I got a favor to ask you!

[This is probably the least awkward option there is.]

[Has he been following this conversation? Not at all. He did take note of the chorus of spittakes at something that was said, but that will not prepare him for the favor to be asked.

And yet he is a good and helpful cat and will dutifully come over when asked.]

Yeah? What's that?

[He's got you, fam, even if he doesn't know what he's got you for yet.]

[Is it the alcohol that's keeping Oscar cheerful or has he just reached the point of "well, I guess this might as well happen"? The world may never know.

Or maybe it's just that he would be the world's biggest hypocrite to initiate a game involving kissing and then try to back out of doing just that!]

I'm tryin' to explain what a kiss is to Vakama, since he doesn't know. And since it's kinda hard to kiss the air, I was wonderin' if you'd mind helpin' me out on that front for a moment.

[They've already been sharing pain on a regular basis, what's a quick kiss between tanks?]

[Little bit of column A, little bit of column B, lbr.

And some column C for spice, apparently!]

Oh, uh-

[GIVE HIM. A SECOND. There's playing a game and then there's being hand-picked, okay.]

Yeah, don' see why not.

[They sure have been doing that, haven't they. Shardbond indeed.]

[EXACTLY!! THIS IS WHY HE COULDN'T ASK SOMEONE ELSE? That would just be super weird and this is already weird enough.]

Great, just hold still for a sec...

[A deep breath, and he lifts a hand up to rest against Basilio's shoulder and steady himself as he leans in until their lips meet (it's an odd feeling, having to tilt his head up a little bit for this). He'll do them both a favor and keep it chaste on his end since it's just meant to be a demonstration, but he'll also be sure to hold it for long enough to let Vakama get a decent look at just how the mechanics of it work-- this is for science, after all.

Basilio is free to pull away whenever he likes after that; this is a judgment-free zone here and Oscar will not say a word in protest.]

[It might be less weird if Oscar just, you know, spun the bottle and kissed whoever it landed on, but are either of them smart enough to think of that? Absolutely not.

Anyway.

Oscar's hand rests on his shoulder, and Basilio's hand immediately goes to his waist to steady him, because he is used to being the taller party, here, and at least that much is natural to do. Otherwise, he lets Oscar set the pace of it - he seems to want to keep it chaste, for demonstration purposes, so it remains chaste, but if it lingers a bit longer than strictly necessary then surely it's fine. It's only natural to want to kiss a guy you just traded 10/10s with, right? Right.]

[ (In the background, Lark has probably paused mid-sip of his drink and his eyebrows are raised so high that they're practically leaving his face. Huh.) ]

[None braincells in this house, it's a charm point (no)--

But it's absolutely natural and he will hear nothing to the contrary. Why would he choose someone who scored lower or scored him lower? It's just common sense.

... the hand on his waist is a bit unexpected, though, but also not unwelcome. Hmm. He would consider that a bit more if he weren't otherwise occupied with trying to make sure this demonstration is an educational one for Vakama, because as long as he thinks about it in those terms it's fine.

Which is exactly why he lets it linger rather than breaking it off on his end even when he knows he really should. No harm, no foul, surely, and so it's with a grin on his face that he turns back to Vakama, pleased that he's been spared further attempts at playing charades to try to mimic kissing. He'll think about all of the rest of this later, probably with the help of a bit more alcohol.]

See? Like that. You can do more than just that too, but that's for people you're really into, and it's definitely not for an audience.

[Not that he will not sit there and popcorn the hell out of anyone who decides to do that in Spin the Bottle, but.]

[...

well then]

[NOT THAT THE TANKS WILL NOTICE CAUSE THEY'RE BUSY but he absolutely ABSOLUTELY cannot watch this for more than a moment or so before viscerally turning his eyes away, so when Oscar finally speaks back up, not only is Vakama not watching, he's practically standing straight up and setting his glass aside.]

You know what.

I have changed my mind.

H-hey...

[You know, Oscar managed to remain unruffled during the kissing itself, but now he's looking slightly flustered because he just did that?? for nothing???? VAKAMA ISN'T EVEN GOING TO PLAY AFTER ALL THAT?]

I guess you could always just kiss on the cheek if you don't wanna do that, or... can't do that.

[DON'T JUST LEAVE HIM STANDING HERE LIKE THIS??]

I do not think that is a good idea.

[Deliberately not making eye contact, and every word he said kind of sounds caught between being heavily embarrassed at the concept and just deeply MORTIFIED.]

I-I appreciate you taking the time to explain yourself, but I... think it's best that I am, um... not here, if this is how the rest of this will... play.

E-Excuse me.

[Bye Oscar!]

Uh, yeah... bye, I guess...

[Bro he can assure you that you are NOT the only one here who is embarrassed right now.

Just going to... very pointedly not look at Basilio for a moment while he gathers his thoughts... (Why is dealing with other people's emotions so much easier than with your own?)]

Party Rock Anthem only it's played on kazoos

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