shardbond | Party Rock Anthem only it's played on kazoos

Party Rock Anthem only it's played on kazoos

[Oscar is a practiced master at Coping (tm) in the face of things he would prefer not to address in any sort of healthy or rational manner. After the events of yesterday, he's somehow getting the feeling that he isn't the only one, which means that in his mind there is only one thing to do: this translates to yet another Walmart booze heist (even larger than the original), a few side trips to amass snacks because RIP his kitchen, and some haphazardly erected decorations in one of the spare rooms to try to at least give off something of a celebratory atmosphere... but let's be real here, this is just Misery x CPR x Reese's Puffs + alcohol.

Sunday morning will find handwritten notes tucked under everyone's doors inviting them to a party that evening, snacks and drinks (that particular word underlined a couple of times, just in case people didn't pick up on the meaning of "party") provided gratis.

There's alcohol, there's soda for the minors, there's plenty of junk food to eat, and there are a whole bunch of other people who are also Going Through It. What better recipe for a party could you ask for?

... don't answer that.]

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[ More is just... staring into his empty glass for a second here........

You're a robot, Turo! Surely you have perfectly clear memory of how this conversation started!!

Maybe he's being rejected in a way so gentle and roundabout that it's not even registering as rejection. Which would be fine! But makes him regret how long they've been dwelling on this now!! ]

.... if nothing else, tonight will have given you an overview of your potential suitors.

[Turo blinks. The majority of responses he's received were just regular old negative feedback, but there were a couple that broke the pattern...]

I...is that the...?

[Is that what the exercise is about? He looks around as if trying to figure out if everybody else is doing some kind of complicated flirtation exercise he didn't know about. Which is basically what he is doing. And also what is happening, maybe.]

[

........ huh??? ]

It's-- well, yes. It typically is. Though I am sure much is just for the enjoyment of flirtation with no deeper designs, there is an undercurrent of... ascertaining interest.

I thought we were just...eliciting feedback, or something like that?

[For example: stop trying to dress yourself, Turo! But the people who are not interested in him are to be expected. It's the other data points that require attention. Which...is...incomprehensible, frankly?]

[ Someone please put More out of his misery. ]

That is certainly part of it - but the sentiments expressed are meant to be genuine.

[He glances around, then leans in closer.]

Are you serious? I know your situation is a bit complex, but More, you are hardly lacking for interest.

[He can do a lot better! Like, a LOT!]

[ .............................. why does this sound like you're trying to stage an intervention for him. ]

I was quite serious, but please just forget I said anything.

...alright. I'll do my best.

[More deserves to be happy. There’s no joy to be found in Turo. So - this is a good thing. Even if it feels like he’s just ruined the only thing he really has...well, look at Miraidon! People are always happiest when they get to experience everything the world has to offer. They're happiest when they leave.]

[ This conversation is horrible and More never ever should have started it. Well-- that's not quite right, he does not regret the initial compliment. But he should simply have stopped insisting five minutes ago.

He hasn't felt like he messed up with somebody quite as badly in a hot minute. ]

It was not my intention to make you uncomfortable. Please know I cherish our bond exactly in the way it is.

I am not uncomfortable. I also...cherish our bond.

[He's dreading the day they have to part, when all of this is over. Presuming any of them live long enough for that. But that's what is best for More and everyone else, so that's what should happen.]

[ That makes More exhale slowly, in palpable relief. ]

I am glad to hear it. Both parts of it, naturally. Being by your side has been the greatest joy of my time here, and I would not want careless words to interfere with something that has become so precious to me.

I...

[God. Is Turo holding him back that much...?]

I feel much the same, but - I hope you know that you do not need to take care of me or any such thing? I am perfectly fine, you should...have fun? [is there anything fun to do in chicago]

[ That does get More, who's been mostly staring straight ahead of him, to blink and look over at Turo in surprise. ]

What makes you say something like that? If any one of us should say those words, it should be me.

.....for what reason?

You've been doing so much for me, and yet you constantly indulge me in more.

[ He should have left it at that when Turo said he's lacking interest. The line between encouraging his friend to come out of his shell and merely dragging him along into More's whims feels paperthin and he's certain he has ended on the wrong end of it tonight. ]

I cannot help feeling like I may be asking too much of you and you are too generous to rebuff me.

Me? You have done far more for me than I have for you! And you certainly deserve far better!

[What has Turo done for More that was particularly special? He killed the impostor - but, then, More did the same for him in turn! Meanwhile, More's doing things like venturing into his mindscape? Come now!]

You always know the words I wish to hear the most. When I am losing myself, it is your hand that pulls me back. Recovering my memories might have crushed me, if it had not been for you continuing to give me direction. You are so alike to myself that I feel wholly understood, but still so unlike myself that your unsullied kindness keeps pulling me along.

I feel so safe with you that it shames me. After all I have done, all I have wrought, should I really have a right to stand here beside you? Yet I greedily keep pursuing you--!!

Your life should be your own to live, my friend. Even as I find myself holding onto you like a man drowning, I know that my burdens are not yours to carry.

[ ... the worst part of this barrage of words is that it comes out all in one go, unstoppable. ]

Of course you have a right!

[Where is all of this coming from? Turo's heard More talk about guilt and shame before, but never related to him. Has he been doing something wrong?]

If you are responsible for all of that, then I would be responsible for everything he did, wouldn't I? You are the one who is always trying to help me with all of that nonsense! I know you cannot possibly enjoy making so many visits to some sort of....hallucinatory Zero Lab. You have so often been the only thing that seems real to me at all. But - you have your own life to live, too! You should be out there living it, not constantly performing maintenance on a broken machine.

[ And there he goes again, saying right what More wants to hear the most. How he'd love to not be responsible, to fully disconnect himself from the man he's been split off from! More can believe it equally as little as Turo believed him down in the lab, but it's soothing to hear. It's exactly why he wants to cling to Turo so badly that he makes himself feel sick with it. When he'd been confined in Akademeia he could justify his own clinginess with his isolation, but now that he walks among people he has to confront that it's become a part of himself that's taken much deeper root.

It makes him want to grasp onto Turo like a child, and it makes him want tear off his own hands and cut Turo loose, set him free.

It's a spiral that seems unbreakable until the words 'broken machine' bring everything to a screeching halt. ]

[ Trying to accept his own worth is difficult, had made him want to look anywhere but at his friend, too ashamed of his own sentiments to face him properly.

This makes him look Turo straight in the eyes. ]

I have never thought of you as broken, not even once.

[ Inhale. Exhale. Okay, he's got this, even with his blood rushing in his ears and his head spinning from drink and feelings alike. ]

And nothing I have ever done for or with you can be described with a term so simple as 'maintenance'.

Whatever he thinks he built you for is of no consequence to me, or to anybody here. Whatever troubles continue to ail you merely mark you as a feeling individual, troubled as all beings are.

And certainly, the physical reality is that you are a machine. But this does not make you lesser. To me, the differences in our ways of being are a delight, a beautiful case of study, an adventure to embark on.

Please do not think that I have offered you friendship despite your robotic nature. I'm here with you because you are as you are, in full.

Edited 2025-02-25 12:52 (UTC)

[Turo, in turn, can't hold More's gaze while he's saying such things. He looks at the floor instead, grimacing at the sight of himself as he processes it again. It's like picking out this outfit was a harbinger of disaster.

Not that what More is saying now is disastrous. It's kind, kinder than Turo truly believes he deserves. At least it isn't anything crazy. Like - earlier, or - ]

That's. Very kind of you. You have always been very kind to me. I know that this is...recurring, again and again. I cannot seem to move past it.

[More's hardly the only person to say such things to him. Everyone here seems to think more or less the same way about it, even the people Turo has barely spoken with. But Turo knows what's going on inside him. If they could really see...

More has, though. More and Void Archives, but Void Archives is not the one trying to...confess? Surely not - well, whatever this is, the idea of them doing it is absurd. Is it...less so, with More...? It felt like it came out of nowhere, but if Turo replaces him with anyone else in the same scenario, that is much stranger. So, perhaps not utterly out of nowhere...]

I think...there is so much more out there. We have seen it, but we have not really been able to go and explore it freely. Even if we are no longer prisoners, we have still not had that liberty. There are going to be other and better people.

[There's certainly some here as well, but Turo doesn't want to...campaign for More to have feelings for someone else in particular out of this group? Feels weird. Certainly not his place.]

[ The lingering feeling that he's gone way too far won't leave More. Pushed by the atmosphere to admitting something a little too serious for the nature of the game. All his compliments to everyone here have been wholly genuine - there are many attractive people here, many he would consider spending a night with. But when he rated Turo highest of all, it wasn't the same kind of frivolous interest. It had been camouflaging itself as... a passing idea, a curiosity, but there was a deeper sentiment behind it, something else he'd been skirting around.

And maybe now that he's already gone and broken everything wide open, it's time to stop being a coward. ]

... I was going to ask you to travel with me, after all this is over.

[ It's harder to admit than a mere stupid numerical rating of attractiveness. And that's the crux of the issue, really - casually indicating romantic curiosity towards a man you already wanted to stay with was maybe not the brightest idea he ever had. ]

I almost did ask you, quite a few times.

[ But he felt Turo should not be burdened with him. And he was afraid of rejection. Still is. ]

It's my sincere desire, and it is not conditional. None of the foolish notions I have put between us are of any concern.

Oh.

[Turo can't deny that he's considered the idea himself. But never too closely. He certainly never would have asked. Even after he learned that More did not have anything to return for, did not even plan to return to his home world - who was he to ask such a thing?]

I - I would like that very much. I have been...afraid, of what is to happen after this. Not because of the power situation.

[That's a factor, but more than that - where would he go? What would he do? If he set out alone again, would he ever find someone else to stay or travel with? Turo has always had a sinking feeling that it wouldn't be the case, that his own awkwardness and oddities and...well, nerves would prevent him from making friends once he was no longer literally forced to live and fight alongside others like he's been here. And what of the people he does know here? Would he ever see them again?]

[ There's an anxious moment in which More feels like he's waiting for the other shoe to drop - for Turo to find some reason to refuse him, whether that be a sudden sobering on More's nature or just another bout of humility making him find reasons for this to be inappropriate in some form.

And then nothing comes and More practically lights up. ]

I admit, I am also anxious... What roads await us? What purpose will we find by walking them? It is impossible to tell before we step out. But... with you by my side, I believe I can do it. I can believe in something wonderful, just out of sight for us to find.

That - that sounds truly marvelous!

[Turo smiles, a little helplessly. He's...happy? All at once, the future does not seem like such a vast and terrifying place. That feeling is almost a little frightening in and of itself. It does not seem like something that ought to belong to him.]

We could go anywhere we wanted. The entire multiverse...it's a little staggering, isn't it?

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