Oscar (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sacrificialpawn) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
shardbond2025-02-23 05:20 pm
sacrificialpawn) wrote in shardbond2025-02-23 05:20 pm
Party Rock Anthem only it's played on kazoos
[Oscar is a practiced master at Coping (tm) in the face of things he would prefer not to address in any sort of healthy or rational manner. After the events of yesterday, he's somehow getting the feeling that he isn't the only one, which means that in his mind there is only one thing to do: this translates to yet another Walmart booze heist (even larger than the original), a few side trips to amass snacks because RIP his kitchen, and some haphazardly erected decorations in one of the spare rooms to try to at least give off something of a celebratory atmosphere... but let's be real here, this is just Misery x CPR x Reese's Puffs + alcohol.
Sunday morning will find handwritten notes tucked under everyone's doors inviting them to a party that evening, snacks and drinks (that particular word underlined a couple of times, just in case people didn't pick up on the meaning of "party") provided gratis.
There's alcohol, there's soda for the minors, there's plenty of junk food to eat, and there are a whole bunch of other people who are also Going Through It. What better recipe for a party could you ask for?
... don't answer that.]
Sunday morning will find handwritten notes tucked under everyone's doors inviting them to a party that evening, snacks and drinks (that particular word underlined a couple of times, just in case people didn't pick up on the meaning of "party") provided gratis.
There's alcohol, there's soda for the minors, there's plenty of junk food to eat, and there are a whole bunch of other people who are also Going Through It. What better recipe for a party could you ask for?
... don't answer that.]
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Ah. Another creature bound with his duty.
...]
Courage, then.
To have courage is not to be absent of fear or doubt. It is to know that you have those feelings, that there are dangers, that there are things that trouble you... and to choose to do what needs to be done in spite of those things that loom over you. To do it for one's self, or your dreams, or for those around you.
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A feeling that may have spawned this very party, in fact.]
Can't really be thinkin' about yourself or your dreams on the battlefield, not when there are people around you whose backs you need to watch. But... I guess you aren't wrong about the choosin' to do what needs to be done part. After a while you just sorta start to do it without really thinkin' about it, which is why it doesn't really feel like courage or bravery or anythin' like that. It's just somethin' you do.
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[Work mode. :')]
I've found that... forgetting ourselves in the midst of our duty is a very easy way to turn bitter. We can take great pride in what we can do for others, or the power or skill we have been given. But we still must find a reason for ourselves to continue, or it will turn empty.
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Somethin' like that.
[Or simply not caring whether one lives or dies.]
I became a soldier so that I could protect others who can't protect themselves. As long as I can keep doin' that, then I'm content. I may not be good at stuff that requires a lot of thinkin', but I've always been good at fightin'. [He laughs a little, because honestly, his size and build kind of make that part obvious.] Might as well do what I'm good at, right?
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Anyways... Hm. Hm....]
It can be difficult to think of what we could contribute beyond the immediate.
....
Have you thought of what you would do in a world of peace, if that's truly the case? If the world found its way and did not need people like us?
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Relax like this every single day.
[Is he joking? He might be, he might not be. But he sobers up a bit, his smile softening.]
No, I'd probably spend more time at the orphanage. The kids like havin' me around, and Sister and the others can't really do much in the way of physical labor, so they need someone who can handle the heavy liftin'. Like I just said, might as well do what I'm good at.
[Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a world where fighting wasn't needed...]
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It's a home for kids whose parents have died and who don't have any other family to take 'em in. [... like him!] Somebody's gotta take care of 'em and raise 'em the way a family would.
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[It's touching, and he doesn't sound against it, but also this is probably the worst way he could have worded this and I'm sorry that I'm doing this to you, Luna.]
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The expression that flashes across Oscar's face this time is surprised, pained, and it's a moment before he can smooth it back out into something neutral.
... well. He can't say that he wouldn't have been left to die if it hadn't been for the orphanage. Who would want the child of a whore, after all?]
Some people care. Not everyone. There's plenty of people who'd be happy to leave 'em in the gutter, especially if they're just commoners.
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I'm just glad to hear it is... even an option, to be quite true.
Though we do not have young, those that fall on circumstances of poor creation have not had bright futures. Whispers that they would all be sent away to possibly never return, in the distant past, or otherwise being ostracized if they could not fulfill their duties.
[The frail that could not be meaningfully repaired any longer, those who had gone mad, those who were too dangerous. For one as himself, plagued with visions, it was an aspect that haunted behind him constantly.]
I... would prefer not to repeat it, in this new life we make for ourselves. I would want us to do as yours do. That it will not have to matter, of type or ability, if one even gets a chance to live a life of worth.
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Sorry to disappoint, but my world isn't all that different in the end. Don't go thinkin' it's some great place where everyone is equal, 'cause we're just as bad about that kinda thing. We just... like to think we're tryin', I guess.
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To be able to try, despite a world that may want for otherwise... I would think it is its own type of courage, its own type of strength. To persist in that way, for those things that matter.
[This new home of theirs would not be Metru Nui, not run under the same strict hand or with the laws that kept it flowing. It would be wild, and free, and completely left to their own wills on the place of their virtues. A horrifying ordeal, but one they would have to embrace a step at a time.
Vakama can only hope, someday, it might be more unified for all of their kind. Even the struggling, the stragglers, the poor of heart and mind and body.]
Mm, but... that's gotten far besides the point, I suppose. It warms my heart to hear that is where you would want to focus your efforts, even during peace.
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The kids already get upset enough when I don't come visit for a week or two while I'm on a mission. It'd be nice if I never had to leave 'em for that long again... maybe they'd stop climbin' all over me when I'm tryin' to cook for once. I can only keep borrowin' Miss Fiori to come play with 'em for so long.
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[It's kind of a cute mental image... like how he imagines Matau's borough of Matoran might cluster around him if things had been a little different.]
Cook -- ah, you mean for food, right? Do you help with that often?
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[It's why he's been trading off cooking duties with Basilio here too!]
If, uh, you can eat, I'll make somethin' for you as soon as we've got ourselves a working kitchen set up. Anythin' you want.
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Though I wouldn't worry about my preferences. Taste doesn't matter much to us unless we have to use our mouths. [He's seen how y'all eat, he knows that's kind of just how you work, but it's still weird.] So long as it can be turned into energy, it will work for me.