shardbond | Party Rock Anthem only it's played on kazoos

[Oscar is a practiced master at Coping (tm) in the face of things he would prefer not to address in any sort of healthy or rational manner. After the events of yesterday, he's somehow getting the feeling that he isn't the only one, which means that in his mind there is only one thing to do: this translates to yet another Walmart booze heist (even larger than the original), a few side trips to amass snacks because RIP his kitchen, and some haphazardly erected decorations in one of the spare rooms to try to at least give off something of a celebratory atmosphere... but let's be real here, this is just Misery x CPR x Reese's Puffs + alcohol.

Sunday morning will find handwritten notes tucked under everyone's doors inviting them to a party that evening, snacks and drinks (that particular word underlined a couple of times, just in case people didn't pick up on the meaning of "party") provided gratis.

There's alcohol, there's soda for the minors, there's plenty of junk food to eat, and there are a whole bunch of other people who are also Going Through It. What better recipe for a party could you ask for?

... don't answer that.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh really? I suppose you're less of a stickler than I first imagined...

[ They did get something like casual vibes, though honestly they hadn't the chance to know Oscar properly all that well. ]

Whyever would you bother going to stuffy parties?

Are you employed by nobles, Oscar?

You could say that. I'm in the military, and my superior officer won't let me skip out on attendin' events even though I've told him a million times that drinking's no fun unless you're kickin' back in the tavern.

[You can't smoke and you actually have to behave??]

I see...a pity you can't get pretend to become black-out drunk and allow yourself to be "escorted" out of those particular events with ease, hm?

[ Is it any surprise that Void Archives IMMEDIATELY thought of potential terrible ideas to get out of doing things by the book? Yes? No? Maybe? ]

Either way, it sounds like you're rather high-ranked, aren't you?

[Completely deadpan:]

No, my superior officer's the one who gets blackout drunk after two glasses of wine.

[You think he is joking, but he is not. He has Seen Things.]

But yeah, I guess you could say I am-- I started out as a foot soldier, but these days I'm an adjutant. Just between us, I'd kinda like to go back to being lower-ranked so I wouldn't have to do so much paperwork...

[ The silence in this instance can't be quantified in mere words. ]

...I see. Do trust me when I say that I hadn't expected to hear that.

But really, that individual hasn't built up alcohol tolerance?

[ ... ]

Well, perhaps you would receive less paperwork if you were demoted, but there is the drawback of there being less pay, yes?

[Oscar just laughs at both of those things. Letting Claude build up an alcohol tolerance would probably be absolutely catastrophic for multiple reasons...]

Nope, and I'm not about to let him for everyone else's sake.

[MOVING ON:]

... it's useless to think about, anyway. It's not like I could be demoted right now.

["... and that's why he can't rely on anyone but me. I'm already a sacrificial pawn who knows too much."

Oscar's the only one who knows the secret, and the only one Claude trusts. And he'll take that secret to his grave, even if Claude is the one who puts him in it.]

[ How much of a chaotic man is this Claude...help...

They raise a brow, but aren't too fussed about whatever this superior of Oscar's does, to be perfectly honest. So, Oscar will find that they don't care to make that a sticking point. Rather... ]

That's quite an interesting comment to make. After all, most soldiers, even after rising up the ranks can be in danger of being demoted in the first place.

[ They are smart enough to make such an observation. ]

...Do you have regrets taking on such a position, by the way? Or rather, is it simply more than what you expected it to be?

[LUM YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW--

He's perfectly happy not to elaborate, though, but now they're moving into a decidedly more delicate topic. Not answering would be rude, yet at the same time he can't really tell the entire story, so:]

More like I'm more the fightin' sort, not the doin' paperwork and attending parties sort. I've never been good at stuff that requires usin' your head. That's the kind of stuff that suits Claude and Eric, not me.

[ Void Archives appears to be blissfully unawares that they have stumbled across a delicate topic.

...

Or, perhaps, they do have an inkling. They are perceptive even if they are not great when it comes to empathizing (they are...working on this, though, even if they haven't made it obvious.) Such as it is, to them there appears to be a wealth of points of interest to question and in this, they choose each subject with their usual amount of curiosity. So, when new names pop up... ]

Hmm? And who exactly are Claude and Eric? Fellow soldiers that are the same rank as yourself? Or noblemen you met who are dedicated to paperwork~?

[For all that he claims to not be suited for things that require using his head, Oscar is in fact quite perceptive on an emotional level. And while he's drunk enough that he's not examining this line of questioning quite as much as he would be otherwise, he does find it notable that this is what Void Archives has decided to pursue. Interesting...

He laughs, amused by the mention of paperwork, because:]

Claude's my commandin' officer, but "dedicated to paperwork" describes him to a T. He'd never leave his desk if I didn't drag him away.

[It would almost be endearing if it didn't have actual negative effects on his health...]

An' Eric's his other adjutant, so the two of us are the same rank. He's a good kid, even if he's too serious sometimes.

[ Hey, what's that supposed to mean...! Some of us are not great on the level of perception on emotional levels or otherwise.

Anyways, Void Archives does so happen to tilt their head in interest when he mentions his commanding officer. As well as this Eric. ]

Oh? So essentially when you're not doing that, he is the one who oversees your work. How fortunate for you that you have someone so hardworking. Does he grant you thanks when you make him part from his beloved paperwork~?

[ They say with a trace of amusement. Knowing how some hardworkers are themselves, they wouldn't be surprised if there are a stream of protests instead... ]

I'd ask if he were serious to simply balance the both of you out. However, it seems that you are the only one who displays far less severity than either two of them, so instead it is your behavior that balances them out, perhaps...?

I'd rather he grant me a break from my paperwork as thanks...

[DO HIS WORK FOR HIM, CLAUDE (no)--

At the question of whether he's the one who balances them out, though, Oscar has to laugh simply because of how true it is. It's certainly an amusing mismatch between the three of them, but at the same time it works for that very reason. SOMEONE has to keep Claude and Eric from making themselves insane from trying too hard...]

Yeah, you hit the nail on the head-- they wouldn't know how to relax even if you put a hundred-page instruction manual on how to do just that down in front of 'em. Someone's gotta show 'em how it's done or else they'd both work themselves into the ground.

You truly do not like that paperwork, do you?

I do wonder what would you do if you were surrounded by a mountain of it. Try to take a page out of a thieves' book and slip away?

[ Please don't mind the subtle pun here.

Also, they can imagine that with relative ease perhaps because it amuses them. Though, they haven't seen either of those folks Oscar mentions, they can figure how much of a serious vibe there can be in place. People like that tend to be the same in such habits no matter what universe or world it is. ]

What do you normally rope them into doing in order to relax? Drag them out somewhere to party? Or drag them into a game of some sort?

Party Rock Anthem only it's played on kazoos

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject