You were successful in repelling the robots attacking the city, but you've been left with far too many questions. For once, Tails doesn't have any answers for you, and a gloomy uncertainty has fallen over your three allies. It probably doesn't help that everyone had a rough time of it last week. A win is a win, but it doesn't really feel like a win when you're not even sure who this unknown threat is...
Regardless, life goes on. Things are a bit different this week in Chicago, however.
THE CITY
You'll need to be careful now more than ever when heading out into the city. Though Eggman's usual robots are still present, their numbers have been cut drastically. Far fewer drones patrol the streets, with only the occasional tank or B33 to be seen. You can still find and fight them, and they will still call for backup, but it seems like you all really have destroyed a lot of them.
But there are the new additions to Eggman's forces. Unlike the white chrome versions, these are here to cause problems. You can find them patrolling sometimes... but usually you'll find them in the city proper, destroying whatever they can. Whenever they catch sight of you, they will stop at nothing to try to pursue you and destroy you.
The city itself is still undergoing changes, with more of that white chrome spreading throughout, as if infecting the structures themselves. The Badniks will still destroy even that, though; it's more like they're mindless machines than carrying out any precise orders.
But in a stroke of good luck, occasionally you'll find that some of the humans recognize the danger they're in. It's only when confronted with a robot - but you might hear a scream, or see them try to run away, and if you save them, you may even be able to get a few words in before they simply return to their monotonous lives. You won't be able to get any truly valuable information from them, but they will thank you repeatedly for helping. They don't seem to realize that they're being controlled by someone else, even if you ask them about it.
VISIONS
If you thought last week was a lot, get ready for the madness of week 4!
You may still have nightmares. You may still be pulled into each others' nightmares (same as last week, if you'd like to play out more of these). Or maybe you'll finally be able to catch a break and get some z's, but even if you are lucky enough for that, you'll still be dealing with everything else.
You may find yourself randomly teleported into the city. This happens at random, and can happen to multiple people at the same time. One minute you may be waking up, the next you'll find yourself surrounded by robots ready to kill you. And yeah, the robots are a feature, not a bug. No matter how it happens, you will always be facing down robots whenever you're brought into the city. Enjoy!
But maybe your luck holds out and you're unaffected by that. Well, there's still the visions to deal with!
There are two different kinds of visions that may happen.
The first are the more minor ones - where you may see the people closest to you (positive or negative). They will appear for others as well, and they will gladly speak with you - though they aren't exactly behaving in the way they should. They will torment you, reminding you of past failures and imperfections, and speaking as though everything is your fault. They will follow you wherever you go, and will only fade when someone else has helped you come to terms with the horrid things they're saying. These visions are a manifestation of a character's psyche and thus are based on their own perceptions of their friends/enemies and their own faults. They're incapable of interacting with the world or the characters, but they sure can insult you!
The second are much larger in scope. No matter where you were, you may find yourself pulled into friend's memory. These memories are one-for-one versions of what exactly happened, though now you're here! Are you playing the role of someone else, or are you just a bystander in all that's happening?
The character having the vision may or may not be aware of you initially, but once they're made aware of your presence, the vision will still play out as the memory would. The only way to stop it - aside from simply letting it play out in its entirety - is to drastically alter the memory in such a way that it cannot get itself back on track. Considering the trauma some of the people in this game have, it might be a good idea to help break them free of it.
Regardless of which happens to you (the nightmares, the teleportation, or the visions), your vision will turn bright red for a moment afterwards - it vanishes quickly enough, but it leaves you with the eerie feeling that you're being watched.
SHARDS
Your powers are growing, and you'll find you're able to defend yourself with your power in some way, even if yours is a power made for support. All characters are now able to fire off a blast of energy in their shard color to defend themselves - this attack will grow stronger in time, but at least everyone should be able to defend themselves (somewhat) now?
As you fight with your allies - particularly those you have a close bond with, positive or negative - you may feel the tug of something in the back of your head; it tells you that you can do more. Together, you can become more powerful. You can use your shards together. Doing so will grant you a new power, or strengthen the one you already have. The more you trust one another, the easier this power will be to use.
It might be good to experiment with these new powers; after all, you never know when you may need them.
TAILS' TASKS
Like last week, Sonic Team is still in need of rings. Rings are still annoying to get. You'll probably need help to get them, but they're worth collecting. So make sure to grab some for Tails!
You may also be tasked with tracking Chaos Energy. Like with tracking rings, Tails will give you a device that can pick up on the signature. You should be careful in approaching, especially if the signature is a large one, considering the three enemies you faced last weekend. Still, Chaos Energy may lead you to more of Eggman's fake Chaos Emeralds, which could prove useful...
Tracking the source down will lead you to one of the weekly enemies with a shard somewhere on its body. It will be much harder to kill than the regular versions of that enemy, and capable of some kind of special power (players' choice). Crushing the shard will weaken the enemy and bring it back down to its normal power level, making it fairly easy to defeat, but if you manage to defeat it without breaking the shard, you can bring it back to Tails for examination.
ENEMIES
Though you can still find the enemies from previous weeks in Chicago throughout the city, their numbers have thinned. Mostly, you'll be running into new faces - robots that don't look anything like Eggman's usuals. They are very rarely actually patrolling or idling, instead focused on destroying parts of the city or attacking any people unfortunate enough to get in their way.
Moto Bugs are... rather cute. They roll around on their singular wheel and can slash with their front claws, though primarily they deal damage by ramming into things at fairly high speeds. They're fairly weak, all things considered, especially by now. They're completely powerless when knocked over or onto their backs. Though one Moto Bug is weak, you will never find them alone - instead, you'll usually find at least 3-5 of them in a group.
Crabmeats are robotic crabs. Where does the meat come in? Unclear. Regardless, they're stronger than Moto Bugs and are capable of both bashing with their massive claws and snipping, and either way they are capable of a good deal of damage if you get hit. They're slower though, which means getting out of the way shouldn't be too hard. Like Moto Bugs, these usually are never alone, often working in pairs.
Buzzers are bees. Did you think we were done with bees? We are absolutely not done with bees. These bees function almost identically to the B33 models in that they're capable of firing lasers from their stingers, divebombing to try to sting, and generally be(e)ing a nuisance. Unlike the B33 models, they do not have a glaringly obvious weak point and are a bit harder to hit and destroy as a result. Though you may rarely encounter only one of these bees out in the wild, usually you'll run into groups of them and they will not be(e) happy to see you.
[ Unfortunately or fortunately? Sometimes you just got to beat 'em up JJBA style and let nature take its course (no, except yes.) ]
Ah well, you don't see me complaining about that perspective either.
[ Because, well. They're still not very happy about it!!
They do end up seeing the other shoot at Vash again. They don't understand how he can miss when he's taking a shot so up close and all that, but maybe he's just not willing to shoot him when it comes down to it. ]
Is that so...? What about him is infuriating, exactly?
[ no one here is happy about the circumstances that they're currently in. was this what they signed up for when it came to helping out the furries? wolfwood would like to see the fine print. (never mind that he's allowed to leave at any point of time and simply doesn't.)
there's also irony with void archives asking him what makes vash so irritating because lord knows that they're equally frustrating. ...just in a different way. wolfwood clenches his fist as he responds. ]
He's an idiot who doesn't know when to quit.
[ "vash" looking down at where wolfwood is clenching his fist before turning to void archives with a head shake and a shrug of his shoulders. almost as a "what can you do" gesture. he takes a step forward towards wolfwood and it looks like he might reach out to him.
âťťWolfwood, you're the one who doesn't know when to quit. It doesn't matter what you do; it'll never be enough.âťž
his words cause wolfwood's entire body to tense up—fight or flight, the words striking a nerve—and this time when he raises his gun again to fire another shot, his aim is true and goes right through the middle of his head. of course, it hits nothing. why would it hit anything...? ]
Listen to this guy—he's a damn hypocrite. No matter how many times I tell him to give up, he won't. [ "vash" will raise a hand to touch where wolfwood had "shot" him but looks far from being surprised or offended. ] This guy and his ideals will be the death of him and this place thinks that he has any right to lecture me.
[ They asked absolutely knowing that they must be a different kind of irritating. Though if anyone inquired if such an irony would be lost upon them, they'd play dumb for fun. As it is, they let out a little chuckle. ]
Is he now?
Hmm...he's an individual with unerring tenacity, then.
[ So someone who doesn't know when to give up; a quality that already sets them apart. At least that's what they assume - they can be stubborn and resolute. Yet, they know that they are not some kind of foolish protagonist.
But, they raise a brow hearing the response that they do from this 'Vash', looking at Wolfwood. Though next they're watching as the man fires a bullet at the image and it does a load of nothing. ]
What exactly are you attempting to make him give up, when it comes to his ideals? There are those who cling so stubbornly to their beliefs that you would have to wait for a miracle for it to change, after all~
[ They are quite curious. It warrants the ask, after everything. ]
[ oh, it isn't lost on wolfwood; he just doesn't put them even in the same category. but don't take it personally; there is vash, his brother, and then everyone else. at void archives' remarks, however, wolfwood just rolls his eyes as he gets a grip over himself again. god was one of the fastest ways to get under his skin dealt with all matters surrounding vash. ]
He firmly believes that everyone can come to an understanding—that all conflict can be resolved without needing to kill anyone.
[ wolfwood tries to answer simply enough as he lowers the gun back to his side. trying to downplay the burst of emotion that he had just moments ago. if void archives remembers, wolfwood might have mentioned someone like them back when they first spoke. maybe not specifically this, but someone who was so set in their ideals and ways that they would die for it. a self-sacrificing idiot. (a savior for humanity.)
âťťAnd you'll trade another life for your's—no matter who it belongs to. Even if that life is mine.âťž
and with those words spoken into the world, wolfwood deflates; the fight and tension that was in his body leaving it bit by bit as he looks down to the ground. all the while, "vash" will step closer to wolfwood and leans in closer to him, to look at his face. still, always smiling, though it seems to be a bit sadder this time. ]
[ Oh, certainly not. They welcome the differences happily and enthusiastically...though, they see that there is just another, to little surprise of their own. Really, what kind of delusion is that?
How foolish. They're not surprised that the other isn't fond of it - though, it wouldn't surprise them if it's something of a tangled web of an issue. That's how these things tended to be, after all.
But, yes, they do recall something that echoed the tone of those very sentiments. This could be this important person. ]
...Really now? I can't imagine that has gone well, considering the way of the world.
[ What can really be done about it? It'll likely take a miracle to reverse such things - if even that can manage it. However, at the ensuing words that follow, they scoff lightly, derisively, even. Really, that's all it took to give in? ]
Trading a life for another's, hm? I'm surprised you didn't argue against it. Why not?
[ If this person is someone important to him, why let the comment stand? ]
[ wolfwood will also scoff at void archives. it would make sense for them to laugh at vash's ideals because anyone with half a brain would do the same (Wolfwood sure laughed at them before), but that hasn't stopped him from believing. for aiming for that world. (surely humanity would be capable of coexisting with his kind...) and he huffs when void archives questions why he hadn't refuted the claim. ]
I can't argue against the truth. [ "vash"'s smile brightens when he sees that wolfwood hasn't decided to run away from his words. however, he will derail the conversation as he flips it around. ] That idiot has paid for the price of holdin' to his ideals hundreds of times over. The worst of humanity who have done nothin' but hurt him.
[ even though it's pointless to speak to the phantom—it's not vash, it'll never be vash—wolfwood can't help it. he hasn't forgotten void archives's presence but sometimes you're just that gay for a moment he'd like to pretend. ]
He could wipe out the entire planet if he wanted to. It'd be nothing for him...but he doesn't...instead all he talks about is love and peace.
[ he clicks his tongue and stands up straighter again and challenges "vash" by taking a step forward towards him only to have him take a step backwards. ]
[ How foolish indeed. Void Archives can understand in actuality the sentiment behind 'understanding' others, but expecting that it means it can end with a resolution where nobody ever needed to fight one another?
Mulling over such a starkly naive sentiment...and thinking that someone can sincerely believe that - it still echoes of Welt Yang's hopes. The man himself would never be so naive to think so, and yet...
"So long as the other side can be reasoned with...diplomacy and peaceful coexistence remain an option and we'll find a way to forge an alliance."
They remember such stupid words. Then nonsense about "kindness" and whatnot. Hearing of it right now just makes them feel sick. Or perhaps they are just irritable because they truly do understand where Vash is coming from, in sticking to those ideals. ]
You can't convince someone who is capable of an irritating amount of kindness in their heart of thinking otherwise, I suppose. What a pity for him, hm? Being so foolish to the end.
[ There's a long pause and then they notice the way that Wolfwood steps towards Vash, only to take a step back. They think:
Coward. If he's important, then go ahead and take the first step, and don't take it back. ]
It's infuriating, but whatever else this shade is trying to convince you of...you do realize he will continue to need someone to look out for that level of stupidity. Do I really need to hammer it in? And does it truly sound accurate that the "you" of today would trade the life of someone so close? No matter what you have done previous?
[ Because it sounds to them like when the chips are down, Wolfwood will be the person he needs. And to rely on, more than anything else. ]
[ it's wrong how wolfwood keeps scoffing at void archives' words and wants to correct them. never once has wolfwood every felt pity for vash, but there are countless moments where they've butt heads and argued. and moments where they've laughed—genuinely enjoying each other's company despite it all. ]
There's where yer wrong. [ he look out for vash? he was someone that vash needed? ] That needle-noggin' doesn't need me; he has plenty of people who'll look out for him. [ better people. ] 'sides...
[ there's a follow up that gets stuck in wolfwood's throat and he shrugs it off and turns away from "vash" to look at void archives properly. the path where the two of them stand had diverged and wolfwood has picked a path that vash won't be following. the two of them both have something bigger than themselves that they need to do. rather, there's something that vash needs to do that's bigger than him and his petty problems. ]
Does it matter?
[ âťťThere's no saving a murderer like you. You're just a monster, right?âťž
"vash" speaks up as though what he was saying is a follow-up to the question that wolfwood asks. ...not that he was looking for an answer. the words sting and wolfwood lowers his head with hollowed laugh. in his heart, he knows that there would be no way that vash would ever say this to him so maybe that's why it feels that much worse. truthfully, it's pissing him off—the way that they're using his face to say these things. ]
Tsk. It does matter, because you are the one who is wrong.
[ They don't even know why they're arguing about this, this is incredibly stupid. They want to smack the stupidity out of this man; even if he killed a whole planet, who cares? Not that they think he did that, but really.
Sure, they almost doomed Earth once but that didn't stop them!
...Granted, they are just built different, probably. ]
You stated that he's a kind man to the point of stupidity. If he needed your help, and no one else could be there by his side at that critical moment, and you weren't there...
Could you accept that?
If he is the type of person that you know he is, would he not refuse to give up on you? Or rather, do you believe that it's alright then to give up on him, hm?
I also didn't take you for the type of person to hold back just because an imposter is wearing a dear friend's face.
[ Anyway, they just continue talking, because it agitates them that suddenly Wolfwood's accepting this. Honestly, it's not such a big deal killing people, but that's not the point so that is a line that they thankfully keep to themselves. ]
Or maybe...that's what you want? To believe those words, because you can't face the idea of moving past such sentiments. It's just convenient he's wearing his face, so now you have even more incentive to hardly refute the idea "you're just a monster".
[ they sure are built different, and unfortunately for both of them it seems like "vash" is quick to respond for wolfwood. not that he would have been able to answer them in the first place. "vash" stepping closer to wolfwood as he speaks with every bit of character that is both equal parts him and nothing like him because wolfwood knows that vash would never say these things. how pretty these words are that void archives tells wolfwood but the truth is unsightly... wolfwood had said it—no point in arguing against the truth.
âťťBut he wasn't there for me. He lead me to my brother fully aware of what would happen.âťž
"vash" looks as though he would put a hand on wolfwood's shoulder if he could, but given that he can't, he just stands as close to him as possible. wolfwood himself not bothering to correct "vash" and fully committed to keeping his gaze anywhere but being able to see "vash", which does little to deter him.
âťťYou're the reason why humanity is almost extinct on our planet.âťž
this time "vash" turns to void archives momentarily to let them know the weight of the burdens that wolfwood carries. truly, what's with a little killing? what's with a little murder... surely wolfwood had his reasons, right? he traded the life of someone else for his. the lives of many for his. "vash" squats down so that he can look at wolfwood's face as he says one final thing with his head tilted to one side.
âťťEven now, you've left me again to handle things on my own. Weren't we supposed to be a team, Wolfwood? My sworn ally.âťž
void archives has every right to mock wolfwood the way he fails to refute anything that "vash" is saying but there are only so many lies that he has been able to tell himself. ]
Void Archives knows that they're definitely the wrong person for this. But, they've always been the wrong person for these types of scenarios, which will never change, even if this time they have more than enough context. Vash only keeps helpfully providing more - which well, in the end can only be so helpful when it's an individual who is at their core self-serving.
Their lack of empathetic capabilities is a debuff. ]
What about after Vash was lead to his wretched brother? It seems that if he has the time to spout nonsense about the fact he ended up just fine, didn't he? And even if he is the one who had to get himself out of it, are you really just going to sulk about it?
If you're truly upset about all of those things...do you earnestly believe it's far too late to do something to make up for it?
I didn't take you for someone who gave up. Which, fine, if you decide that you can't talk back against any of this, I can't help that.
But could you if it weren't for yourself? Why not do it for him?
Or are you too pathetic to even manage that?
[ They do have an urge to smack this phantasm Vash but they know from where he's situated they'd just smack Wolfwood instead. Which, actually, they're kind of tempted to as well...it could be funny.
...
Maybe it's not exactly the time, though, and it could make things worse. The last they want to hear is 'I deserve it' or some crap like that. ]
[ void archives is experiencing the same level of frustration with "vash" that wolfwood did and it ended with him trying to fire bullets through his head. they are also valid to wanting to smack wolfwood around for how he's behaving but the lack of rebuttal is more about acceptance than anything else. though, at least, this time he'll speak for himself as avoids looking at "vash" again to look back at void archives. ]
It's never been for myself. [ even if it was the truth, the words feel wrong on his tongue so he corrects himself. he's tired of making excuses for himself so he'll bear the weight of this as well. no matter how "valid" those reasons would have been, it doesn't change the end result. ] Not entirely.
[ so funny how they have empathy debuff while wolfwood purposefully attempts to nerf his. how else would he be able to stay sane in his world? ]
Look, there's nothin' more that I can do for him; the best thing I've done is taken myself out of the picture so that he has one less person to worry about. [ it's not as though he would have been allowed to interfere even if he wanted to. (or so he tells himself.) ] I freed him from the cage I helped put him in and now he'll go do what's important.
He may ridiculous enough to keep sayin' that there's hope for me but there's only one end for someone like me.
[ is it really sulking or just simple resignation for someone who feels themselves irredeemable? rather, only one logical conclusion for how he could repent for things. ]
Oh...what's this feeling? Once again being confronted with the fact that they do in fact give a shit but are particularly maybe just terrible about it is happening at full speed like a train wreck as soon as Wolfwood says that last line.
Not too long ago, they remember keenly in the battle that they witnessed the nightmare - all those bodies on the ground, dead. All of those people staring up, lifeless, unmoving.
That's when they realize that maybe, they do care. That while they may not so easily empathize with others, that while they're selfish, and care only about a certain few, that they can care.
Wolfwood was, of course, one of them; and so when they first heard those words, they receive a visceral flashback to that.
Something ugly curls in them as well. It's not hate, neither is it disappointment.
But, it's unsettling. Like how they remember they felt when they thought the idiot might die on a spike (fortunately...thanks to a certain few people, that didn't happen.)
Their hands clench tightly into fists. They can't believe this. They should just turn around and leave this fool of a man. He deserves it. Let him wallow in his disgusting self-pity until he turns into a true husk, squandering his opportunities because he forces away every hand outstretched to him like an idiot. ]
[ After whatever moment that was, a sharp grin is easily visible on their face. It's definitely inappropriate for the situation, and is quite unsettling, even with everything considered. ]
I didn't think much of this "Vash" at first. In fact, I wondered what you saw in him, really. [ The second half of that is a lie, but it's irritating watching this fool pine for wallow in despair over someone and refuse themselves for it. ] But, now, I realize...I truly do feel sorry for him. Not just basic pity.
After all, you keep saying all this foolish and stupid nonsense. As if that is helping anyone. To the point that I'm uncertain if I buy that claim of yours. 'Never', hah. What rubbish.
But, very well.
[ They sigh, as if very, very pained. Which, they are. ]
If you must declare that there is only one end for you, I suppose it is up to me to explain to you how nice it is when taking a dirt nap.
Please, do remember to keep your ears open for this elaboration. It will be very educational for you, I am certain. You'll be eternally grateful~
[ Anyway, as typical for Void Archives, they come out swinging pretty hard without warning.
Except this time it is very literal as they are aiming to try to backhand Wolfwood in the face with their other hand (barehanded, not gloved.) ]
[ neither one of my rolls were good for wolfwood but given the fact he's currently injured then it perhaps makes sense why he wouldn't be able to dodge void archives from hitting him in the face. ( 8 ) and if void archives is expecting wolfwood to just take the assault to his face without a response then they have another thing coming. they didn't want to see wolfwood being pathetic, right? fine. ]
Fine, if that's how ya want to play it— [ wolfwood rubs his sore cheek with his good hand and glances over towards the ghost wearing the face of his (best) friend before refocusing his attention on void archives. ] What's so pitiful about Vash?
[ he'll crowd void archives and grab a fistful of the front of their coat with rage (ironically) directed at their problem with vash than himself. as things are many times with wolfwood; his anger never for some wrong that he has committed but one that has happened to someone he has cared about. ]
He has more humanity than most humans and he's not even one. What's so pitiful about that? [ and just like that, wolfwood's fury transforms to a sneer as he lets go of void archives' coat with a bit of a shove. ] Oh, right. Yer not human yerself so maybe that's why ya don't understand it.
"Do it for him"? "Do I think it's truly too late for me"?
How many times do I have to say that there's nothin' I can do about it before it makes sense to ya? [ wolfwood knows that they're not thick so he's not sure what their hang up is about this. ] I left him because there's an entire sorry ass planet that needs to be saved and he's the only one who can do it.
[ because he has a home that he needs to protect. final business that he needs to resolve before he can even dream of being able to do anything else. because as the way things are for him, there is no future for him. hell, even if he were to tie up his loose ends, there still might not be a future for him, but someone like him can't ask for futures.
and had he stayed then vash would have wanted to follow him... vash, with all of his humanity, would have wasted precious time helping his problems than dealing with the bigger matter. ]
[ If it helps, Void Archives does have an incredible reaction time because of being an artificial intelligence of some kind. But, they do kind of grant the man a smirk on their face when he asks them why they find Vash so pitiful in the first place. ]
You ask me why? [ They scoff when Wolfwood grabs a hold of their coat for a moment, making light of his movements. ] You already made it clear yourself, haven't you? Or have you already forgotten?
The fact that his ideals have him in dire straits so much, and no matter what happens to him, he foolishly believes that everything will be fine as long as he stays naive. Which, if you ask me, is only asking for someone to finally do enough to kill him because he thought he could talk it out.
Is that not pitiful? I'd argue I could even understand it just fine.
[ The shove has the blond move to unnecessarily straighten the front of their ~pristine white coat~ and then brush it off before the little shit-eating smirk returns. ]
And don't you dare start with that, like I'm being the one unreasonable.
What I don't understand is how ridiculous you're being about it. Yes, you left him, but why does it somehow mean you can't return to him later on? That matters can't return to how they were before when you were with him?
[ This is extremely rich because of certain canon events later but Void Archives is not from that time as of yet. Therefore, they think Wolfwood is acting like a fool. ]
And even if they can't, don't you want to try to do what you can to be by his side again? What is the point in denying yourself so thoroughly? Are you hoping that it will somehow absolve your 'sins', as well, hm? Like that 'prized' resignation towards your ultimate fate?
[ Urgh, they are nearly near the proper person for this kind of thing, but they are still going to give it their best. Anyway, they do realize in the heat of the moment that they forgot momentarily that Wolfwood was injured, maybe, so they are not going to throw another punch or smack at the moment. ]
[ this is the point where wolfwood would correct void archives and say that never once had he considered vash pitiful. he always considered him to be an idiot but never worth being pitied. the man lived a life that no one could especially on a planet that was cruel as the one they lived on, and wasn't that something to be admired?
...however, as things always landed, with all that wolfwood could admire about vash, it just made him that more angry when he would be taken advantage of or be betrayed later. there is so much that wolfwood would love to get into with them about but instead the conversation takes a different direction. not one that he has put a lot of thought into personally. wolfwood has never been one to hold onto any hope that didn't exist. (but he would cling to threads of the possibility of things turning out for the good.)
all of the people who would have wolfwood think of such things, though. truly. what a horrible match to be having such a conversation with. ]
Yeah, that's exactly it; the best I can do for him is settle my matters. They'll hardly absolve me of anythin' but it's the least I can do. [ is it not appropriate for a man like him to pay for his sins with his life? ] He and his brother are goin' to tear each other apart, and I'm not gonna be around to witness it.
[ does he mean it literally, figuratively, or both? maybe. ]
There's no "happy ending" waitin' for either of us. No one's comin' out of this the same way we've gone in. It's less about "wanting" than just accepting the facts.
[ Can't believe Wolfwood is being dramatically gay about Vash.
They are not wholly surprised that Wolfwood is a coward. It is something that crossed their minds at some point in this conversation; what surprises them the most is their own insistence on trying to change his mind. But, the comment he made earlier still sticks to them and that actually motivates them rather than any source of pettiness. Good job on making your life even harder by default, Wolfwood. ]
If you care so deeply about this Vash of yours then I doubt you want him to get torn apart. And even if he was, would he really want you to settle your matters in such a wretched way?
[ There's a pause as he says that there's no happy ending waiting for either one of them and even Void Archives looks incredulous upon hearing that. ]
...For once, I agree with the phantasm.
You are acting like a coward. You use excuses to try to doom yourself to an end that doesn't necessarily have to pass.
You conclude that in order to correct what you've done is that you need to pay with your life, but is that not an excuse to run away from the sheer effort it would be to move forward and do better? If that is your goal, anyway. [ Because they are not the moral police or operate on holding tight to morals; but Wolfwood cares deeply about this sort of thing, hence they are tailoring their argument accordingly. ] And so far it seems you also believe that Vash is also doomed to come to an end. Tsk, you're quite pathetically foolish yourself.
Let me tell you something, priest. I too was one who endangered the population of my own world and my actions could have conceivably drove humanity to extinction. I've traded lives for others without batting an eye, and I too left behind an ally of mine.
[ They don't have the 'eyes for one person only' deal going on, but Welt is still a big deal to them. ]
Our experiences are not one to one because it is impossible, but I never saw a reason to condemn myself to tragedy just because of how many sins I have committed.
You don't sound like you're interested in reforming yourself or otherwise. You're just interested in feeling good about being miserable.
And if you don't want to bother envisioning a good end for Vash, I have to wonder why you believe you can call your version of 'settling your matters' as doing the best for him, when it clearly hardly isn't.
[ who could have guessed that nicholas d. wolfwood would be this dramatically gay for one vash the stampede, huh?? who could have guessed....................
but as void archives explains the what they've done and how they feel about it comparable to how wolfwood has processed it, is the reason why he finds void archives so annoying. the realization that he had by river coupled with this admission it sealed the horrible truth that wolfwood had suspected. they were alike in the ways that wolfwood hated the most and barely different in the ways that they weren't. if wolfwood was less of a human then he would have likely seen things the way that they did, and he hated it. cowardice? fine; call him a coward. it just means that void archives is a coward in their own way in another aspect of their life. ]
Tell me, could ya even feel that there would be a reason to condemn yerself for what all that ya've done? [ wolfwood bites back; he hasn't forgotten how void archives is hardly human with a question quality of humanity within them. ] The person ya left behind—I bet that they were fine with it. 'nother self-sacrificial idiot who thought so little of themselves despite caring so much for others.
[ did void archives even try to reason with them? were they even able to fully understand the illogicalness of it all or rationalize the futility of saving people who wouldn't never appreciate it? wolfwood scoffs and turns to face "vash". ]
If anyone's been runnin' then its been him. He has been lookin' for a place to die as much as I have; it's just taken him longer to find a place.
[ while it seems like wolfwood is looking at "vash", he's not seeing him. the person he sees is the one that actually matters. the two of them with their own sins and beliefs of how to live with it. the next time wolfwood speaks, he does so sharply. ]
Before ya say anythin' about how we're wallowin' in our misery or pathetic—he's facin' his brother because he finally believes in all the crap he's been spoutin' and I've been carrying the burden those ideals. [ the "sworn ally" of vash the stampede; the person who will end the lives of the people that vash can't bring himself to, able to act on those tough choices. wolfwood sighs. ] If there's a tomorrow for either of us then we both have to fulfill our roles.
[ It really is futile, isn't it? Wolfwood is just so intent on burying his head into the sand after sticking his fingers into his ears that it would take a miracle to get him to so much as glance at the light. Well, rather than that it is just painfully clear that they're not the right person for this. Somehow, knowing that stings even more than anything else. But, that isn't an unfamiliar feeling. They always know they'll never be enough for this; all the knowledge in the world can't convince someone of something.
...Yet, they remember the first time the both of them spoke, and immediately feeling that they were similar. Yes, maybe that's why they found themselves coming to speak with Wolfwood again ... they are drawn easiest to those they share similarities with, and he was one of those. Not that it matters; they could never hold the sway Vash's words would have over Wolfwood, and for a moment they sincerely and fiercely resent that stupid sworn ally of his, but it fades as it feels moot. ]
On the contrary, I had to be certain he didn't hear of it. I made...arrangements so that he wouldn't specifically arrive with myself. Otherwise, he would have to put up with all of you.
[ Welt Yang would have lept at the chance to help save another world. Which is why he doesn't know that is what Void Archives is doing right now. Anyway, the resentment returns once again, dark and bitter. For all of their similarities, they feel still far too different. ]
Just admit that you're a coward and own up to it instead of pushing it onto that friend of yours. It makes you look like quite the fool, Wolfwood.
[ Despite the way a smile comes to make its reappearance on Void Archives' face, it's more pained than anything. They should just give up. They know it's futile, so why try bother convincing him?
"He may ridiculous enough to keep sayin' that there's hope for me but there's only one end for someone like me."
Whenever they think of that line, something makes them recoil. Makes them want to say anything. Something. ]
Regardless, why exactly must you two stick to a role? If there is a tomorrow, if there is a future - why do you have to hold onto those things from the past? Hah...you try to argue that neither of you are wallowing in your misery, but then you turn around and say that both of you are looking for a gravesite - to die. If that isn't being miserable, then, please, do redefine it for me.
Whatever the case, I'll say this is the one thing from you I can't accept. If I could convince you, I would.
But, I know you're committed to the idea, however foolish it is...because you're just that big of an idiot.
[ Even if their words or sentiments on the matter mean nothing to Wolfwood. They're no foolish optimist or naive child. They'll never accept it. And, they won't let the man die here. If he hates them for it, so what? That wouldn't be a new sentiment, and they already know that he doesn't like them much. ]
[ it's ironic that with how much is being said, it seems as though wolfwood and void archives are having two different conversations. rather, that there is a disconnect between what wolfwood is saying, how void archives interprets the information as, and then responds to that information. it's not as though it's a new thing—plenty of people will clash due to personality, beliefs, and the like, but as void archive speaks to so many things aside from the question that wolfwood asked, he gets it. and for all of the bite that wolfwood had just moments ago leaves him with a simple huff.
he had said it himself earlier: they're hardly human themselves. of course they wouldn't understand him. (but vash would. vash in all of his infuriating self.) the next time that wolfwood speaks, he does so with a different attitude. ]
I think I should be the one who is doing the pityin' now between the two of us after hearin' ya say all of that stuff.
[ momentarily, wolfwood looking over his shoulder to see what kind of an expression that they would make when the tables were turned back on them. would they see this coming? would they be confused by the sudden shift? ]
Fine; if ya wanna hear me call myself a coward so much then sure, but I'm no more or less of a coward than Vash. [ he waves his good hand at void archives dismissively as he turns back to "vash" and looks at him properly and not the man he represents who isn't there. ...though he wishes that the man was here, foolishly. selfishly. ] He and I...
[ and it's here that wolfwood gets stuck. yes, what is one nicholas d. wolfwood and one vash the stampede? a shit priest and a walking natural disaster—"human" typhoon? a man who has had nearly all of their humanity nearly stripped from him and a being of higher power with more humanity than humans themselves? ...simply just two men who happened to find each other?
despite wolfwood failing to find the words that he wants to use, a moment of clarity that hits him instead. of course. wolfwood brings his good hand to his face, covering it, as he laughs; (it's too late. it's truly too late.) "vash"'s smile changing just slightly. once he's done having his laugh (mental break??), he'll give void archives a leveled look. ]
Here, have somethin' on the house—somethin' to chew on with all of that stuff goin' on in yer head. [ he speaks with a slight smirk on his face. ] If a person who has been lookin' for a place to die suddenly starts thinkin' about tomorrow 'nd actin' on things that they wouldn't otherwise, are they that miserable of a person?
There's no happy endin' for us, but we've lied to ourselves enough times to accept that it's never been about us.
[ When Wolfwood speaks again, they go quiet, because it does feel like there's just something they aren't getting. When he had asked the question previous, they hadn't thought much of it, didn't understand why he would throw it their way all of a sudden. Though, they figure it would be obvious - that they wouldn't, though at the same time, perhaps as they attempt to process all of these (emotional things which feel too difficult to grasp at times, because they can't relate), there is something that clicks in there.
Something that makes them realize that, as much as they wished for Wolfwood to understand them...they can't understand his reasons for this - can't understand him at this very moment. That realization keeps them quiet, has them trying to examine closer the other man's words, their previous actions, even if the gap between them is far too wide.
Such to the point that they still can't come up with something to say about Wolfwood pitying them in return. They...don't know how to feel about that.
Then, he's saying all those other things as well. Could it be they've misunderstood him? For once in their life, they just stand there, trying to think, but then their shoulders slump, just a bit. ]
...You...
I don't understand everything that is transpiring on in your head.
[ They sigh, raising a hand to their own head, closing their eyes, before reopening them. They're...not content with this. They can't be. But, they feel strange - no, they feel wrong for it. Wrongfooted, and a fool. ]
I cannot begin to understand the connection you and that man have. Not in the slightest. And when you had asked what you had, all I could think was about what you had said again and again - the conviction of accepting a certain kind of end. It troubled me.
As for your question, it seems clear. If someone begins such a shift, perhaps I would claim that there is some kind of light that would chase away a semblance of that misery.
However...I still can't bring myself to imagine ever allowing that phantasm say those things about you without comment. [ They then shift their gaze to Vash. ] I do stand by that.
[ Perhaps it is a childish sentiment. But, that aside, thinking back to what they saw in that nightmare - that hellscape - concerning Wolfwood, and the hint of horrid things that lurked underneath the surface. They had seen so many times humans who had suffered, but they tried to move forward and railed against despair; and they could not understand the sorrow that pulled them down. (Like they couldn't understand Welt Yang's guilt. Is this the same...?
How can they help, if so?
Is it so wrong for them to want Wolfwood to reach for happiness?) ]
[ wolfwood has the common decency to not mock void archives once they've somewhat worked through the (truthfully) very simple question he had asked them. there's no room for him to feel like that would be acceptable as they had truly spent time mulling over his words in earnest. the fact that they respond that they don't understand implies that they may have the intention of wanting to eventually understand, and them understanding the shift of what it means to go from waiting for the end to come and wanting to make the most of what time is left. ]
Didn't think ya'd be able to. [ but he's still going to allow himself to give void archives a bit of a playful jab. ] There's a name for that feelin' in case ya forgot it. It's called being upset—somethin' that happens when ya start to care about things other than yerself.
[ not that wolfwood thought that they didn't care about others before but more that their idea of what it meant to care for someone else was likely different before wolfwood framed it in this fashion. one that, by all means, is illogical and full of contradiction. now, as for the very "hot" topic of wolfwood's connection with vash—that's something that wolfwood treats lightly while holding it close to him. it's a new feeling that will never get a proper name. ]
What blondie and I have is what ya'd call a "complicated relationship". [ "vash" tilts his head at wolfwood questioning to see where he planned on taking the rest of this thought. wolfwood, himself, wanting to say a quick prayer with the hope that maybe the real vash would hear what he had to say here. he doesn't, though, since it wouldn't matter. ] One where I can't decide on whether I want to shake him until some sense fall out of that spikey head of his, kill him before anyone else can, or...
[ sacrifice whatever left that's worthwhile of his heart and soul to prevent anyone else from hurting him again. wholeheartedly damn himself to hell to release vash of his burdens. ask if it's okay to still be by his side (to spend what days he has left). to tell him— ]
Somethin' stupid.
[ "vash" seems to pout at wolfwood's, admittedly, horrible answer but find himself somewhat pleased with what wolfwood had said. though he hasn't decided to fade away, there are pats of him that have begun to become translucent—much to wolfwood's amusement and dismay.
âťťYou're so mean to me. Even like this you still won't be completely honest.âťž
this comment, unlike the many times before, wolfwood waves off dismissively with the smirk still on his face and doesn't seem to be an ounce upset. somehow void archives did manage to do something good...? maybe?? ]
[ Void Archives perhaps should count their blessings for that. They know that this hasn't been the smoothest conversation in the universe (but, given their nature, that isn't a surprise.) For all they had in Otto's final moments judged (verbally) him about how he connected with others, they are no better - though perhaps that is something Wolfwood shares, but in a different way.
Anyway, there is that playful jab, and the blond huffs, crossing their arms. ]
Hmph. What a completely unrefined and patronizing comment. I do know what it means to be upset. And it so happens you should know the ridiculous culprit behind that, hm?
[ Then they move to tuck a strand of hair away, looking at the phantasm with an adequate petulant (pout?) expression, though they listen to Wolfwood being smitten over the dynamic between himself and Vash. It sounds completely unhinged, but to them they don't find it necessarily odd. Sometimes, the desire to kill someone is a form of affection of the highest order? ]
'Something stupid'...what a way to put it. But, you don't even sound all that bothered about it. I never imagined such internal struggles might even bring you a semblance of peace - or rather, welcoming the opposite of it.
[ They unfold their arms, letting out a sigh, and shaking their head once they notice a change in the phantasm of Vash. Unbelievable that somehow they managed something - bah, they shouldn't think that. Rather, they should believe that they were always capable of it...except, as irritating as it is, Otto's arrogance still towered over their own by far. ]
Whatever the case, most people wouldn't know what to do with the response you've given - with the odd layer of complexities to consider that defy the convention of normal relationships. But, of course, I do happen to have the capability to understand with ease the idea of relationships that have no defined or easy trajectory forward.
Admittedly, the admission although belated does help, I suppose~
[ Wolfwood is also quite right about them wanting to understand; though, they wonder if this happened at the beginning of their arrival would they have wanted to in the first place. But, then they decide it doesn't matter. ]
[ while void archives is going through the motions of trying not to be upset, being upset, pouting even (wow!), before slipping back into their normal cadence, wolfwood watches the way “vash” slowly and properly begins to fade away as the time ticks by. and, this time, wolfwood does say a prayer as “vash” makes his exit apparently satisfied with the way that wolfwood handled his emotions. or is the proper way to say it that he finally recognized them for what they were instead of denying what they could mean…? ]
It’s “somethin’ stupid” because it is nothin' short of somethin’ stupid. It doesn’t have to be much more complicated than that.
[ wolfwood says with levity in his voice. suppose it’s just semantics at this point as wolfwood finishes his prayer—let him have the chance to be brave for once. to be able to follow through in what he sets out to do. please god: he doesn’t ask for much. he only wants a few things in his life. so, can’t it be possible? even if it’s only for a few moments. an hour, minutes, seconds—wolfwood would be willing to take whatever he could. seemingly aware of wolfwood’s prayer, “vash” speaks one final time with a look on his face that might have fooled wolfwood to think that he was facing the real person.
âťťAre you scared to take that final step forward, Wolfwood?âťž
the question has wolfwood chuckling to himself as he watches the last bit of “vash” dissipate into nothing. he knows that there’s no reason for him to provide an answer to someone that is no longer there, but he can’t help himself. there’s no way that he’d let those be the final words that they’ll exchange. truthfully, the next words that he says, he also hopes won’t be the final words that he’ll end up saying to the real deal. ]
Maybe, but whatever I have to say is between myself, God, and him.
[ please. please god, give him the chance. If he still had any right to ask for anything—all he wants is that chance. …and as much as wolfwood might joke about needing god’s strength to deal with archives, things seem to be easier—for the moment. lord knows just what will come out of their mouth to ruin things. ]
I gotta confess; I wouldn’t have expected ya to be so worked up over me. I had the feelin’ yer attached but guess it’s a lot more than I suspected. [ there’s probably some stuff in there worth unpacking, but he won’t. ] But not knowin' all the answers is what makes ya human. There’s plenty that any of us knows and even more that we don’t know—it’s why humans sinned in the first place.
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no subject
Ah well, you don't see me complaining about that perspective either.
[ Because, well. They're still not very happy about it!!
They do end up seeing the other shoot at Vash again. They don't understand how he can miss when he's taking a shot so up close and all that, but maybe he's just not willing to shoot him when it comes down to it. ]
Is that so...? What about him is infuriating, exactly?
no subject
there's also irony with void archives asking him what makes vash so irritating because lord knows that they're equally frustrating. ...just in a different way. wolfwood clenches his fist as he responds. ]
He's an idiot who doesn't know when to quit.
[ "vash" looking down at where wolfwood is clenching his fist before turning to void archives with a head shake and a shrug of his shoulders. almost as a "what can you do" gesture. he takes a step forward towards wolfwood and it looks like he might reach out to him.
âťťWolfwood, you're the one who doesn't know when to quit. It doesn't matter what you do; it'll never be enough.âťž
his words cause wolfwood's entire body to tense up—fight or flight, the words striking a nerve—and this time when he raises his gun again to fire another shot, his aim is true and goes right through the middle of his head. of course, it hits nothing. why would it hit anything...? ]
Listen to this guy—he's a damn hypocrite. No matter how many times I tell him to give up, he won't. [ "vash" will raise a hand to touch where wolfwood had "shot" him but looks far from being surprised or offended. ] This guy and his ideals will be the death of him and this place thinks that he has any right to lecture me.
no subject
Is he now?
Hmm...he's an individual with unerring tenacity, then.
[ So someone who doesn't know when to give up; a quality that already sets them apart. At least that's what they assume - they can be stubborn and resolute. Yet, they know that they are not some kind of foolish protagonist.
But, they raise a brow hearing the response that they do from this 'Vash', looking at Wolfwood. Though next they're watching as the man fires a bullet at the image and it does a load of nothing. ]
What exactly are you attempting to make him give up, when it comes to his ideals? There are those who cling so stubbornly to their beliefs that you would have to wait for a miracle for it to change, after all~
[ They are quite curious. It warrants the ask, after everything. ]
no subject
He firmly believes that everyone can come to an understanding—that all conflict can be resolved without needing to kill anyone.
[ wolfwood tries to answer simply enough as he lowers the gun back to his side. trying to downplay the burst of emotion that he had just moments ago. if void archives remembers, wolfwood might have mentioned someone like them back when they first spoke. maybe not specifically this, but someone who was so set in their ideals and ways that they would die for it. a self-sacrificing idiot. (a savior for humanity.)
âťťAnd you'll trade another life for your's—no matter who it belongs to. Even if that life is mine.âťž
and with those words spoken into the world, wolfwood deflates; the fight and tension that was in his body leaving it bit by bit as he looks down to the ground. all the while, "vash" will step closer to wolfwood and leans in closer to him, to look at his face. still, always smiling, though it seems to be a bit sadder this time. ]
no subject
How foolish. They're not surprised that the other isn't fond of it - though, it wouldn't surprise them if it's something of a tangled web of an issue. That's how these things tended to be, after all.
But, yes, they do recall something that echoed the tone of those very sentiments. This could be this important person. ]
...Really now? I can't imagine that has gone well, considering the way of the world.
[ What can really be done about it? It'll likely take a miracle to reverse such things - if even that can manage it. However, at the ensuing words that follow, they scoff lightly, derisively, even. Really, that's all it took to give in? ]
Trading a life for another's, hm? I'm surprised you didn't argue against it. Why not?
[ If this person is someone important to him, why let the comment stand? ]
no subject
I can't argue against the truth. [ "vash"'s smile brightens when he sees that wolfwood hasn't decided to run away from his words. however, he will derail the conversation as he flips it around. ] That idiot has paid for the price of holdin' to his ideals hundreds of times over. The worst of humanity who have done nothin' but hurt him.
[ even though it's pointless to speak to the phantom—it's not vash, it'll never be vash—wolfwood can't help it. he hasn't forgotten void archives's presence but
sometimes you're just that gayfor a moment he'd like to pretend. ]He could wipe out the entire planet if he wanted to. It'd be nothing for him...but he doesn't...instead all he talks about is love and peace.
[ he clicks his tongue and stands up straighter again and challenges "vash" by taking a step forward towards him only to have him take a step backwards. ]
It's infuriating.
no subject
Mulling over such a starkly naive sentiment...and thinking that someone can sincerely believe that - it still echoes of Welt Yang's hopes. The man himself would never be so naive to think so, and yet...
"So long as the other side can be reasoned with...diplomacy and peaceful coexistence remain an option and we'll find a way to forge an alliance."
They remember such stupid words. Then nonsense about "kindness" and whatnot. Hearing of it right now just makes them feel sick. Or perhaps they are just irritable because they truly do understand where Vash is coming from, in sticking to those ideals. ]
You can't convince someone who is capable of an irritating amount of kindness in their heart of thinking otherwise, I suppose. What a pity for him, hm? Being so foolish to the end.
[ There's a long pause and then they notice the way that Wolfwood steps towards Vash, only to take a step back. They think:
Coward. If he's important, then go ahead and take the first step, and don't take it back. ]
It's infuriating, but whatever else this shade is trying to convince you of...you do realize he will continue to need someone to look out for that level of stupidity. Do I really need to hammer it in? And does it truly sound accurate that the "you" of today would trade the life of someone so close? No matter what you have done previous?
[ Because it sounds to them like when the chips are down, Wolfwood will be the person he needs. And to rely on, more than anything else. ]
no subject
There's where yer wrong. [ he look out for vash? he was someone that vash needed? ] That needle-noggin' doesn't need me; he has plenty of people who'll look out for him. [ better people. ] 'sides...
[ there's a follow up that gets stuck in wolfwood's throat and he shrugs it off and turns away from "vash" to look at void archives properly. the path where the two of them stand had diverged and wolfwood has picked a path that vash won't be following. the two of them both have something bigger than themselves that they need to do. rather, there's something that vash needs to do that's bigger than him and his petty problems. ]
Does it matter?
[ âťťThere's no saving a murderer like you. You're just a monster, right?âťž
"vash" speaks up as though what he was saying is a follow-up to the question that wolfwood asks. ...not that he was looking for an answer. the words sting and wolfwood lowers his head with hollowed laugh. in his heart, he knows that there would be no way that vash would ever say this to him so maybe that's why it feels that much worse. truthfully, it's pissing him off—the way that they're using his face to say these things. ]
no subject
[ They don't even know why they're arguing about this, this is incredibly stupid. They want to smack the stupidity out of this man; even if he killed a whole planet, who cares? Not that they think he did that, but really.
Sure, they almost doomed Earth once but that didn't stop them!
...Granted, they are just built different, probably. ]
You stated that he's a kind man to the point of stupidity. If he needed your help, and no one else could be there by his side at that critical moment, and you weren't there...
Could you accept that?
If he is the type of person that you know he is, would he not refuse to give up on you? Or rather, do you believe that it's alright then to give up on him, hm?
I also didn't take you for the type of person to hold back just because an imposter is wearing a dear friend's face.
[ Anyway, they just continue talking, because it agitates them that suddenly Wolfwood's accepting this. Honestly, it's not such a big deal killing people, but that's not the point so that is a line that they thankfully keep to themselves. ]
Or maybe...that's what you want? To believe those words, because you can't face the idea of moving past such sentiments. It's just convenient he's wearing his face, so now you have even more incentive to hardly refute the idea "you're just a monster".
no subject
âťťBut he wasn't there for me. He lead me to my brother fully aware of what would happen.âťž
"vash" looks as though he would put a hand on wolfwood's shoulder if he could, but given that he can't, he just stands as close to him as possible. wolfwood himself not bothering to correct "vash" and fully committed to keeping his gaze anywhere but being able to see "vash", which does little to deter him.
âťťYou're the reason why humanity is almost extinct on our planet.âťž
this time "vash" turns to void archives momentarily to let them know the weight of the burdens that wolfwood carries. truly, what's with a little killing? what's with a little murder... surely wolfwood had his reasons, right? he traded the life of someone else for his. the lives of many for his. "vash" squats down so that he can look at wolfwood's face as he says one final thing with his head tilted to one side.
âťťEven now, you've left me again to handle things on my own. Weren't we supposed to be a team, Wolfwood? My sworn ally.âťž
void archives has every right to mock wolfwood the way he fails to refute anything that "vash" is saying but there are only so many lies that he has been able to tell himself. ]
no subject
Void Archives knows that they're definitely the wrong person for this. But, they've always been the wrong person for these types of scenarios, which will never change, even if this time they have more than enough context. Vash only keeps helpfully providing more - which well, in the end can only be so helpful when it's an individual who is at their core self-serving.
Their lack of empathetic capabilities is a debuff. ]
What about after Vash was lead to his wretched brother? It seems that if he has the time to spout nonsense about the fact he ended up just fine, didn't he? And even if he is the one who had to get himself out of it, are you really just going to sulk about it?
If you're truly upset about all of those things...do you earnestly believe it's far too late to do something to make up for it?
I didn't take you for someone who gave up. Which, fine, if you decide that you can't talk back against any of this, I can't help that.
But could you if it weren't for yourself? Why not do it for him?
Or are you too pathetic to even manage that?
[ They do have an urge to smack this phantasm Vash but they know from where he's situated they'd just smack Wolfwood instead. Which, actually, they're kind of tempted to as well...it could be funny.
...
Maybe it's not exactly the time, though, and it could make things worse. The last they want to hear is 'I deserve it' or some crap like that. ]
no subject
It's never been for myself. [ even if it was the truth, the words feel wrong on his tongue so he corrects himself. he's tired of making excuses for himself so he'll bear the weight of this as well. no matter how "valid" those reasons would have been, it doesn't change the end result. ] Not entirely.
[ so funny how they have empathy debuff while wolfwood purposefully attempts to nerf his. how else would he be able to stay sane in his world? ]
Look, there's nothin' more that I can do for him; the best thing I've done is taken myself out of the picture so that he has one less person to worry about. [ it's not as though he would have been allowed to interfere even if he wanted to. (or so he tells himself.) ] I freed him from the cage I helped put him in and now he'll go do what's important.
He may ridiculous enough to keep sayin' that there's hope for me but there's only one end for someone like me.
[ is it really sulking or just simple resignation for someone who feels themselves irredeemable? rather, only one logical conclusion for how he could repent for things. ]
1/2
Oh...what's this feeling? Once again being confronted with the fact that they do in fact give a shit but are particularly maybe just terrible about it is happening at full speed like a train wreck as soon as Wolfwood says that last line.
Not too long ago, they remember keenly in the battle that they witnessed the nightmare - all those bodies on the ground, dead. All of those people staring up, lifeless, unmoving.
That's when they realize that maybe, they do care. That while they may not so easily empathize with others, that while they're selfish, and care only about a certain few, that they can care.
Wolfwood was, of course, one of them; and so when they first heard those words, they receive a visceral flashback to that.
Something ugly curls in them as well. It's not hate, neither is it disappointment.
But, it's unsettling. Like how they remember they felt when they thought the idiot might die on a spike (fortunately...thanks to a certain few people, that didn't happen.)
Their hands clench tightly into fists. They can't believe this. They should just turn around and leave this fool of a man. He deserves it. Let him wallow in his disgusting self-pity until he turns into a true husk, squandering his opportunities because he forces away every hand outstretched to him like an idiot. ]
...
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I didn't think much of this "Vash" at first. In fact, I wondered what you saw in him, really. [ The second half of that is a lie, but it's irritating watching this fool
pine forwallow in despair over someone and refuse themselves for it. ] But, now, I realize...I truly do feel sorry for him. Not just basic pity.After all, you keep saying all this foolish and stupid nonsense. As if that is helping anyone. To the point that I'm uncertain if I buy that claim of yours. 'Never', hah. What rubbish.
But, very well.
[ They sigh, as if very, very pained. Which, they are. ]
If you must declare that there is only one end for you, I suppose it is up to me to explain to you how nice it is when taking a dirt nap.
Please, do remember to keep your ears open for this elaboration. It will be very educational for you, I am certain. You'll be eternally grateful~
[ Anyway, as typical for Void Archives, they come out swinging pretty hard without warning.
Except this time it is very literal as they are aiming to try to backhand Wolfwood in the face with their other hand (barehanded, not gloved.) ]
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Fine, if that's how ya want to play it— [ wolfwood rubs his sore cheek with his good hand and glances over towards the ghost wearing the face of his (best) friend before refocusing his attention on void archives. ] What's so pitiful about Vash?
[ he'll crowd void archives and grab a fistful of the front of their coat with rage (ironically) directed at their problem with vash than himself. as things are many times with wolfwood; his anger never for some wrong that he has committed but one that has happened to someone he has cared about. ]
He has more humanity than most humans and he's not even one. What's so pitiful about that? [ and just like that, wolfwood's fury transforms to a sneer as he lets go of void archives' coat with a bit of a shove. ] Oh, right. Yer not human yerself so maybe that's why ya don't understand it.
"Do it for him"? "Do I think it's truly too late for me"?
How many times do I have to say that there's nothin' I can do about it before it makes sense to ya? [ wolfwood knows that they're not thick so he's not sure what their hang up is about this. ] I left him because there's an entire sorry ass planet that needs to be saved and he's the only one who can do it.
[ because he has a home that he needs to protect. final business that he needs to resolve before he can even dream of being able to do anything else. because as the way things are for him, there is no future for him. hell, even if he were to tie up his loose ends, there still might not be a future for him, but someone like him can't ask for futures.
and had he stayed then vash would have wanted to follow him... vash, with all of his humanity, would have wasted precious time helping his problems than dealing with the bigger matter. ]
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You ask me why? [ They scoff when Wolfwood grabs a hold of their coat for a moment, making light of his movements. ] You already made it clear yourself, haven't you? Or have you already forgotten?
The fact that his ideals have him in dire straits so much, and no matter what happens to him, he foolishly believes that everything will be fine as long as he stays naive. Which, if you ask me, is only asking for someone to finally do enough to kill him because he thought he could talk it out.
Is that not pitiful? I'd argue I could even understand it just fine.
[ The shove has the blond move to unnecessarily straighten the front of their ~pristine white coat~ and then brush it off before the little shit-eating smirk returns. ]
And don't you dare start with that, like I'm being the one unreasonable.
What I don't understand is how ridiculous you're being about it. Yes, you left him, but why does it somehow mean you can't return to him later on? That matters can't return to how they were before when you were with him?
[ This is extremely rich because of certain canon events later but Void Archives is not from that time as of yet. Therefore, they think Wolfwood is acting like a fool. ]
And even if they can't, don't you want to try to do what you can to be by his side again? What is the point in denying yourself so thoroughly? Are you hoping that it will somehow absolve your 'sins', as well, hm? Like that 'prized' resignation towards your ultimate fate?
[ Urgh, they are nearly near the proper person for this kind of thing, but they are still going to give it their best. Anyway, they do realize in the heat of the moment that they forgot momentarily that Wolfwood was injured, maybe, so they are not going to throw another punch or smack at the moment. ]
https://is2g.dreamwidth.org/file/8864.png
...however, as things always landed, with all that wolfwood could admire about vash, it just made him that more angry when he would be taken advantage of or be betrayed later. there is so much that wolfwood would love to get into with them about but instead the conversation takes a different direction. not one that he has put a lot of thought into personally. wolfwood has never been one to hold onto any hope that didn't exist. (but he would cling to threads of the possibility of things turning out for the good.)
all of the people who would have wolfwood think of such things, though. truly. what a horrible match to be having such a conversation with. ]
Yeah, that's exactly it; the best I can do for him is settle my matters. They'll hardly absolve me of anythin' but it's the least I can do. [ is it not appropriate for a man like him to pay for his sins with his life? ] He and his brother are goin' to tear each other apart, and I'm not gonna be around to witness it.
[ does he mean it literally, figuratively, or both? maybe. ]
There's no "happy ending" waitin' for either of us. No one's comin' out of this the same way we've gone in. It's less about "wanting" than just accepting the facts.
[ âťťCoward.âťž ]
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They are not wholly surprised that Wolfwood is a coward. It is something that crossed their minds at some point in this conversation; what surprises them the most is their own insistence on trying to change his mind. But, the comment he made earlier still sticks to them and that actually motivates them rather than any source of pettiness. Good job on making your life even harder by default, Wolfwood. ]
If you care so deeply about this Vash of yours then I doubt you want him to get torn apart. And even if he was, would he really want you to settle your matters in such a wretched way?
[ There's a pause as he says that there's no happy ending waiting for either one of them and even Void Archives looks incredulous upon hearing that. ]
...For once, I agree with the phantasm.
You are acting like a coward. You use excuses to try to doom yourself to an end that doesn't necessarily have to pass.
You conclude that in order to correct what you've done is that you need to pay with your life, but is that not an excuse to run away from the sheer effort it would be to move forward and do better? If that is your goal, anyway. [ Because they are not the moral police or operate on holding tight to morals; but Wolfwood cares deeply about this sort of thing, hence they are tailoring their argument accordingly. ] And so far it seems you also believe that Vash is also doomed to come to an end. Tsk, you're quite pathetically foolish yourself.
Let me tell you something, priest. I too was one who endangered the population of my own world and my actions could have conceivably drove humanity to extinction. I've traded lives for others without batting an eye, and I too left behind an ally of mine.
[ They don't have the 'eyes for one person only' deal going on, but Welt is still a big deal to them. ]
Our experiences are not one to one because it is impossible, but I never saw a reason to condemn myself to tragedy just because of how many sins I have committed.
You don't sound like you're interested in reforming yourself or otherwise. You're just interested in feeling good about being miserable.
And if you don't want to bother envisioning a good end for Vash, I have to wonder why you believe you can call your version of 'settling your matters' as doing the best for him, when it clearly hardly isn't.
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but as void archives explains the what they've done and how they feel about it comparable to how wolfwood has processed it, is the reason why he finds void archives so annoying. the realization that he had by river coupled with this admission it sealed the horrible truth that wolfwood had suspected. they were alike in the ways that wolfwood hated the most and barely different in the ways that they weren't. if wolfwood was less of a human then he would have likely seen things the way that they did, and he hated it. cowardice? fine; call him a coward. it just means that void archives is a coward in their own way in another aspect of their life. ]
Tell me, could ya even feel that there would be a reason to condemn yerself for what all that ya've done? [ wolfwood bites back; he hasn't forgotten how void archives is hardly human with a question quality of humanity within them. ] The person ya left behind—I bet that they were fine with it. 'nother self-sacrificial idiot who thought so little of themselves despite caring so much for others.
[ did void archives even try to reason with them? were they even able to fully understand the illogicalness of it all or rationalize the futility of saving people who wouldn't never appreciate it? wolfwood scoffs and turns to face "vash". ]
If anyone's been runnin' then its been him. He has been lookin' for a place to die as much as I have; it's just taken him longer to find a place.
[ while it seems like wolfwood is looking at "vash", he's not seeing him. the person he sees is the one that actually matters. the two of them with their own sins and beliefs of how to live with it. the next time wolfwood speaks, he does so sharply. ]
Before ya say anythin' about how we're wallowin' in our misery or pathetic—he's facin' his brother because he finally believes in all the crap he's been spoutin' and I've been carrying the burden those ideals. [ the "sworn ally" of vash the stampede; the person who will end the lives of the people that vash can't bring himself to, able to act on those tough choices. wolfwood sighs. ] If there's a tomorrow for either of us then we both have to fulfill our roles.
cw: suicidal ideation discussion
...Yet, they remember the first time the both of them spoke, and immediately feeling that they were similar. Yes, maybe that's why they found themselves coming to speak with Wolfwood again ... they are drawn easiest to those they share similarities with, and he was one of those. Not that it matters; they could never hold the sway Vash's words would have over Wolfwood, and for a moment they sincerely and fiercely resent that stupid sworn ally of his, but it fades as it feels moot. ]
On the contrary, I had to be certain he didn't hear of it. I made...arrangements so that he wouldn't specifically arrive with myself. Otherwise, he would have to put up with all of you.
[ Welt Yang would have lept at the chance to help save another world. Which is why he doesn't know that is what Void Archives is doing right now. Anyway, the resentment returns once again, dark and bitter. For all of their similarities, they feel still far too different. ]
Just admit that you're a coward and own up to it instead of pushing it onto that friend of yours. It makes you look like quite the fool, Wolfwood.
[ Despite the way a smile comes to make its reappearance on Void Archives' face, it's more pained than anything. They should just give up. They know it's futile, so why try bother convincing him?
"He may ridiculous enough to keep sayin' that there's hope for me but there's only one end for someone like me."
Whenever they think of that line, something makes them recoil. Makes them want to say anything. Something. ]
Regardless, why exactly must you two stick to a role? If there is a tomorrow, if there is a future - why do you have to hold onto those things from the past? Hah...you try to argue that neither of you are wallowing in your misery, but then you turn around and say that both of you are looking for a gravesite - to die. If that isn't being miserable, then, please, do redefine it for me.
Whatever the case, I'll say this is the one thing from you I can't accept. If I could convince you, I would.
But, I know you're committed to the idea, however foolish it is...because you're just that big of an idiot.
[ Even if their words or sentiments on the matter mean nothing to Wolfwood. They're no foolish optimist or naive child. They'll never accept it. And, they won't let the man die here. If he hates them for it, so what? That wouldn't be a new sentiment, and they already know that he doesn't like them much. ]
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he had said it himself earlier: they're hardly human themselves. of course they wouldn't understand him. (but vash would. vash in all of his infuriating self.) the next time that wolfwood speaks, he does so with a different attitude. ]
I think I should be the one who is doing the pityin' now between the two of us after hearin' ya say all of that stuff.
[ momentarily, wolfwood looking over his shoulder to see what kind of an expression that they would make when the tables were turned back on them. would they see this coming? would they be confused by the sudden shift? ]
Fine; if ya wanna hear me call myself a coward so much then sure, but I'm no more or less of a coward than Vash. [ he waves his good hand at void archives dismissively as he turns back to "vash" and looks at him properly and not the man he represents who isn't there. ...though he wishes that the man was here, foolishly. selfishly. ] He and I...
[ and it's here that wolfwood gets stuck. yes, what is one nicholas d. wolfwood and one vash the stampede? a shit priest and a walking natural disaster—"human" typhoon? a man who has had nearly all of their humanity nearly stripped from him and a being of higher power with more humanity than humans themselves? ...simply just two men who happened to find each other?
despite wolfwood failing to find the words that he wants to use, a moment of clarity that hits him instead. of course. wolfwood brings his good hand to his face, covering it, as he laughs; (it's too late. it's truly too late.) "vash"'s smile changing just slightly. once he's done having his laugh (mental break??), he'll give void archives a leveled look. ]
Here, have somethin' on the house—somethin' to chew on with all of that stuff goin' on in yer head. [ he speaks with a slight smirk on his face. ] If a person who has been lookin' for a place to die suddenly starts thinkin' about tomorrow 'nd actin' on things that they wouldn't otherwise, are they that miserable of a person?
There's no happy endin' for us, but we've lied to ourselves enough times to accept that it's never been about us.
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Something that makes them realize that, as much as they wished for Wolfwood to understand them...they can't understand his reasons for this - can't understand him at this very moment. That realization keeps them quiet, has them trying to examine closer the other man's words, their previous actions, even if the gap between them is far too wide.
Such to the point that they still can't come up with something to say about Wolfwood pitying them in return. They...don't know how to feel about that.
Then, he's saying all those other things as well. Could it be they've misunderstood him? For once in their life, they just stand there, trying to think, but then their shoulders slump, just a bit. ]
...You...
I don't understand everything that is transpiring on in your head.
[ They sigh, raising a hand to their own head, closing their eyes, before reopening them. They're...not content with this. They can't be. But, they feel strange - no, they feel wrong for it. Wrongfooted, and a fool. ]
I cannot begin to understand the connection you and that man have. Not in the slightest. And when you had asked what you had, all I could think was about what you had said again and again - the conviction of accepting a certain kind of end. It troubled me.
As for your question, it seems clear. If someone begins such a shift, perhaps I would claim that there is some kind of light that would chase away a semblance of that misery.
However...I still can't bring myself to imagine ever allowing that phantasm say those things about you without comment. [ They then shift their gaze to Vash. ] I do stand by that.
[ Perhaps it is a childish sentiment. But, that aside, thinking back to what they saw in that nightmare - that hellscape - concerning Wolfwood, and the hint of horrid things that lurked underneath the surface. They had seen so many times humans who had suffered, but they tried to move forward and railed against despair; and they could not understand the sorrow that pulled them down. (Like they couldn't understand Welt Yang's guilt. Is this the same...?
How can they help, if so?
Is it so wrong for them to want Wolfwood to reach for happiness?) ]
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Didn't think ya'd be able to. [ but he's still going to allow himself to give void archives a bit of a playful jab. ] There's a name for that feelin' in case ya forgot it. It's called being upset—somethin' that happens when ya start to care about things other than yerself.
[ not that wolfwood thought that they didn't care about others before but more that their idea of what it meant to care for someone else was likely different before wolfwood framed it in this fashion. one that, by all means, is illogical and full of contradiction. now, as for the very "hot" topic of wolfwood's connection with vash—that's something that wolfwood treats lightly while holding it close to him. it's a new feeling that will never get a proper name. ]
What blondie and I have is what ya'd call a "complicated relationship". [ "vash" tilts his head at wolfwood questioning to see where he planned on taking the rest of this thought. wolfwood, himself, wanting to say a quick prayer with the hope that maybe the real vash would hear what he had to say here. he doesn't, though, since it wouldn't matter. ] One where I can't decide on whether I want to shake him until some sense fall out of that spikey head of his, kill him before anyone else can, or...
[ sacrifice whatever left that's worthwhile of his heart and soul to prevent anyone else from hurting him again. wholeheartedly damn himself to hell to release vash of his burdens. ask if it's okay to still be by his side (to spend what days he has left). to tell him— ]
Somethin' stupid.
[ "vash" seems to pout at wolfwood's, admittedly, horrible answer but find himself somewhat pleased with what wolfwood had said. though he hasn't decided to fade away, there are pats of him that have begun to become translucent—much to wolfwood's amusement and dismay.
âťťYou're so mean to me. Even like this you still won't be completely honest.âťž
this comment, unlike the many times before, wolfwood waves off dismissively with the smirk still on his face and doesn't seem to be an ounce upset. somehow void archives did manage to do something good...? maybe?? ]
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Anyway, there is that playful jab, and the blond huffs, crossing their arms. ]
Hmph. What a completely unrefined and patronizing comment. I do know what it means to be upset. And it so happens you should know the ridiculous culprit behind that, hm?
[ Then they move to tuck a strand of hair away, looking at the phantasm with an adequate petulant (pout?) expression, though they listen to Wolfwood being smitten over the dynamic between himself and Vash. It sounds completely unhinged, but to them they don't find it necessarily odd. Sometimes, the desire to kill someone is a form of affection of the highest order? ]
'Something stupid'...what a way to put it. But, you don't even sound all that bothered about it. I never imagined such internal struggles might even bring you a semblance of peace - or rather, welcoming the opposite of it.
[ They unfold their arms, letting out a sigh, and shaking their head once they notice a change in the phantasm of Vash. Unbelievable that somehow they managed something - bah, they shouldn't think that. Rather, they should believe that they were always capable of it...except, as irritating as it is, Otto's arrogance still towered over their own by far. ]
Whatever the case, most people wouldn't know what to do with the response you've given - with the odd layer of complexities to consider that defy the convention of normal relationships. But, of course, I do happen to have the capability to understand with ease the idea of relationships that have no defined or easy trajectory forward.
Admittedly, the admission although belated does help, I suppose~
[ Wolfwood is also quite right about them wanting to understand; though, they wonder if this happened at the beginning of their arrival would they have wanted to in the first place. But, then they decide it doesn't matter. ]
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It’s “somethin’ stupid” because it is nothin' short of somethin’ stupid. It doesn’t have to be much more complicated than that.
[ wolfwood says with levity in his voice. suppose it’s just semantics at this point as wolfwood finishes his prayer—let him have the chance to be brave for once. to be able to follow through in what he sets out to do. please god: he doesn’t ask for much. he only wants a few things in his life. so, can’t it be possible? even if it’s only for a few moments. an hour, minutes, seconds—wolfwood would be willing to take whatever he could. seemingly aware of wolfwood’s prayer, “vash” speaks one final time with a look on his face that might have fooled wolfwood to think that he was facing the real person.
âťťAre you scared to take that final step forward, Wolfwood?âťž
the question has wolfwood chuckling to himself as he watches the last bit of “vash” dissipate into nothing. he knows that there’s no reason for him to provide an answer to someone that is no longer there, but he can’t help himself. there’s no way that he’d let those be the final words that they’ll exchange. truthfully, the next words that he says, he also hopes won’t be the final words that he’ll end up saying to the real deal. ]
Maybe, but whatever I have to say is between myself, God, and him.
[ please. please god, give him the chance. If he still had any right to ask for anything—all he wants is that chance. …and as much as wolfwood might joke about needing god’s strength to deal with archives, things seem to be easier—for the moment. lord knows just what will come out of their mouth to ruin things. ]
I gotta confess; I wouldn’t have expected ya to be so worked up over me. I had the feelin’ yer attached but guess it’s a lot more than I suspected. [ there’s probably some stuff in there worth unpacking, but he won’t. ] But not knowin' all the answers is what makes ya human. There’s plenty that any of us knows and even more that we don’t know—it’s why humans sinned in the first place.
[ … ]
Or somethin’ like that.
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