Official functions are so stifling. They are complicated social functions wearing the guise of a "party," and it is exhausting to keep up with all the important gossip. I cannot say I mind an actual party that is for fun, but I was always seeking an excuse to find a corner with a book or a chance encounter with one of the castle's hounds or mousers.

[and then mordegon banned pets because animals could tell he was evil. it sucked so bad.]