Would ya rather I hold onto a possibility that doesnāt exist?
[ with each new question that void archives asks him, the more frustrated wolfwood becomes with them. half because he wishes that they would drop it and the other half that he hates how itās them trying to something incredibly human. wolfwood had called them out for being unable to understand his sentiments weeks earlier but this? this kind of behaviorāa sort of bargainingāisnāt what something that lacks humanity could do. this isnāt the same kind of clinical approach to resolve problems.
perhaps thatās why his frustrations peaks and he something finally snaps within him as he exposes himself more than heād ever feel comfortable with if he werenāt already laying in his deathbed. the expression on his face as he turns to void archives that of a man who is equal parts desperate and resigned. ]
Of course Iām not okay with any of it. [ wolfwood runs his (good) hand through his hair as he lets out a noise thatās halfway between a yell and a sigh. his tone low and hostile in a way that it hasnāt been any time before. behind his words, though, is also a man who is fighting against dissolving into some embarrassing level of hysterics. ] I finally figure all this shit out but in the end what does it buy us?
[ weeks? months? years? (it'll never be enough.) ]
If it all works out the way that ya want it toāeven if ya performed a miracle on my body and fixed everythināāIām a human. [ wolfwood makes sure that his words are as firm as they can be. there will be no negotiation about this due to some sort of loophole that void archives knows of. he has been stubborn about plenty but this is off the table. ] I want to be human.
[ because for as long as wolfwoodās had the body that he currently has, he has never really felt as though he was human. this body wasnāt created out of kindness; it was created to kill people. designed, tested, and purposefully made to make him as perfect as he could be to be a tool for killing. for years he has only seen himself as a monsterāa monster irredeemable of the crimes that he has committed.
if could retain any kind of agency of his body, then let it be this. let him be able to consider himself a human at the very end. of course, though, there is a huge drawback to it all. wolfwoodās body sags with an exasperated sigh and entirely empty laugh. ]
ā¦but humans donāt live as long as PLANTS, and who knows how long heāll end up livinā beinā a special kind of PLANT.
[ the next time wolfwood speaks, thereās a rawness to it; how he doesnāt even bother to try to hide how deeply he doesnāt want this. the battle between desperately wishing for something has only left him resigned with the inevitable. ]
Vashāll have to figure out how to live without me sooner or later. [ he chuckles and shakes his head, but itās a pathetic attempt to claw back his composureāthe indifference. ] I almost wish that he would forget about me, but thereās no way thatād happen. Heāll remember me until the very end.
no subject
[ with each new question that void archives asks him, the more frustrated wolfwood becomes with them. half because he wishes that they would drop it and the other half that he hates how itās them trying to something incredibly human. wolfwood had called them out for being unable to understand his sentiments weeks earlier but this? this kind of behaviorāa sort of bargainingāisnāt what something that lacks humanity could do. this isnāt the same kind of clinical approach to resolve problems.
perhaps thatās why his frustrations peaks and he something finally snaps within him as he exposes himself more than heād ever feel comfortable with if he werenāt already laying in his deathbed. the expression on his face as he turns to void archives that of a man who is equal parts desperate and resigned. ]
Of course Iām not okay with any of it. [ wolfwood runs his (good) hand through his hair as he lets out a noise thatās halfway between a yell and a sigh. his tone low and hostile in a way that it hasnāt been any time before. behind his words, though, is also a man who is fighting against dissolving into some embarrassing level of hysterics. ] I finally figure all this shit out but in the end what does it buy us?
[ weeks? months? years? (it'll never be enough.) ]
If it all works out the way that ya want it toāeven if ya performed a miracle on my body and fixed everythināāIām a human. [ wolfwood makes sure that his words are as firm as they can be. there will be no negotiation about this due to some sort of loophole that void archives knows of. he has been stubborn about plenty but this is off the table. ] I want to be human.
[ because for as long as wolfwoodās had the body that he currently has, he has never really felt as though he was human. this body wasnāt created out of kindness; it was created to kill people. designed, tested, and purposefully made to make him as perfect as he could be to be a tool for killing. for years he has only seen himself as a monsterāa monster irredeemable of the crimes that he has committed.
if could retain any kind of agency of his body, then let it be this. let him be able to consider himself a human at the very end. of course, though, there is a huge drawback to it all. wolfwoodās body sags with an exasperated sigh and entirely empty laugh. ]
ā¦but humans donāt live as long as PLANTS, and who knows how long heāll end up livinā beinā a special kind of PLANT.
[ the next time wolfwood speaks, thereās a rawness to it; how he doesnāt even bother to try to hide how deeply he doesnāt want this. the battle between desperately wishing for something has only left him resigned with the inevitable. ]
Vashāll have to figure out how to live without me sooner or later. [ he chuckles and shakes his head, but itās a pathetic attempt to claw back his composureāthe indifference. ] I almost wish that he would forget about me, but thereās no way thatād happen. Heāll remember me until the very end.