[From what she can see as he skims past them, it's a mess of dates that don't quite make sense, a calendar that does not match the one she knows. Scattered words of the days passings mark here and there, musings and recordings, but far most prominent are the images. He's definitely not an artist by any means, but every picture that shows up looks like it was scribbled out hastily, silhouettes and shadows and symbols with only bare words or phrases scattered.]

And before then? Especially before the totem would arrive by your own choosing, what sort of things would you be feeling?

Was there anticipation? Fear?