[A long silence followed that as Viktor thought it over; he couldn't find it in himself to argue with anything she said, because she was right. More than only cyclical--as she spoke he could see events unfolding in a chaotic web in the shape of wild magic, interconnected and yet scattered.]

[And then he laughed, a low and worn out noise like escaping steam and grinding metal.]

...I was there that day--in the Council meeting. [There was no accusation; only a tired statement of fact.] I was still human then, mostly. My partner thought it would be better if a Zaunite was present, and I should have argued more than I did.

[Now, with benefit of distance and clarity of emotion, things made more sense. It was guilt as much as it was affection, wasn't it? Viktor would never have been anywhere near the Council otherwise, and if he wasn't...]

I was supposed to die. I did, for a time, and then I woke up as this thing because Jayce could not let go. He never could, even as 'Viktor' was lost in whatever 'the Machine Herald' became...he kept chasing after me. I hurt him again and again, and it did not matter at all. I hurt everyone, because I thought...that was better. No one would feel heartbreak again if they could feel nothing whatsoever.

[There must be some part of you still in there.]

[People who love you don't like to quit.]

...You are right, I think. And maybe it is better this way, if we are somewhere they can't follow us. For their own sake, so they can stop chasing shadows. Perhaps we are both still alive because we have to fix something. To make our lives have some purpose that is not destruction.

[Viktor pushed the chair bck from the desk enough to face Jinx a little more fully, opalescent eyes shifting from cold gray to being tinged with a calmer blue.]

I doubt I can do much of anything alone. What do you think--do you want to help someone who almost ended the world?